When I bought a fine old castle
The resident vampire caused me great hassle.
Both her and a ghost
Would eat all my toast!
So I decided to leave for Newcastle!
When I Bought a Fine Old Castle
12 Replies
Tag Archives: humour
Naughty Lou
When a naughty young lady named Lou
Said, “Kevin, I really do miss you!”,
I said to her, “honey,
You miss all my money!”,
She said, “yes, that is perfectly true!”.
2 Poems from my Recently Published Collection, “My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses”
Below are 2 poems from my recently released humorous collection, “My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses”, followed by links to the book on Amazon.
I awoke to a very loud knocking,
In bed with the beautiful Miss Hocking.
She said, “I can not pretend
That I don’t have a boyfriend!”
I said, “Is that him knocking, Hocking?”
—
When a young lady named Kate
Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”
I said, “I beg your pardon!
But I am doing this garden!
But perhaps the garden can wait…”
Links:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C5L3V51S/ (Kindle for the UK).
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5L3V51S/ (Kindle for amazon.com customers).
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0C5KVPS78? (paperback for UK customers).
https://www.amazon.com/Friends-Robot-Girlfriend-Humorous-Verses-ebook/dp/B0C5L3V51S/ (paperback for amazon.com customers).
Kate Who Went Out on a Sugar Date
I know a young lady named Kate
Who went out on a sugar date.
But the man had no money,
Which we all found quite funny!
But she lacks any humour does Kate!
When a Poetical Young Man Named Ray
When a poetical young man named Ray
Recited a poem which was most risqué,
A young lady named Hocking
Lost more than her stocking,
And me, I discussed poetry with Ray!
Ron the Poet
When a poet whose name was Ron
Said “my poetry will surely live on”.
An old man called Brian
Warned him of a lion,
Which devoured all his poetry and Ron.
Dangerous Neil
When a dangerous young man named Neil
Said, “you’re going to feel cold steel!”,
A brave girl called Jagger
Grabbed hold of that dagger,
And I composed a poem about Neil …!
I Met a Monster in My Dream
I met a monster in my dream
Who said, “aren’t you going to scream!”.
I said, “no, not really
As I can see clearly
That you sir are only a dream!”.
The Aristocratic Old Ghost
When I found a most aristocratic old ghost
In my kitchen stuffing his mouth with toast,
And he said, “I’m an aristocrat!”,
I said, “I can see that !
And you’re stuffing your mouth with my toast!”.
Lin Who Was Very Fond of Fine Gin
I knew an old lady named Lin
Who was fond of very fine gin.
I am pleased to say
That when she passed away
Lin left me some very fine gin …!
K Morris - Poet 