Tag Archives: humour

My AI Girlfriend

I have just purchased an AI girlfriend

Who is driving me round the bend.

She calls me her honey

And spends all my money,,

Which is just like my real girlfriend!

Respectability

When a young lady wearing 1 spectacle

Said, “sir, I am not that respectable!”.

I said to her, “Flair,

That’s a very big pare!”.

She said, “sir, you are not respectable!”.

A 4 Star Review of My Collection of Humorous Poems, My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses

I was delighted to receive the below review of my collection of humorous poems, “My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses”:

 

“This collection of poems comprises humorous limericks. The poet has a sharp eye for the failings of mankind and has woven his observations into these clever poems.

An excellent example of one such exposing poem is Henrietta’s Erotic Letter:

When a naughty young lady named Henrietta
Sent the bishop an extremely erotic letter,
His wife called her loose
And his daughter turned puce.
And the bishop he treasured that letter …

This book is ideal for readers who enjoy a good laugh about mankind’s hypocrisy.”

 

To read the original review on Goodreads please visit https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/5683785656.

As I Leafed Through Dusty Old Tomes

As I leafed through dusty old tomes

I heard a loud rattle of bones.

Twas merely a ghost

Stealing crumpets and toast,

But it distracted me from those tomes!

When a Girl Who is Full of Vice

When a girl who is full of vice

Said, “I’ll cover you in chocolate and ice!”.

I said, “my dear,

The bishop draws near,

And I hear he’s a connoisseur of vice …!”.

Grouse

I know an old lord with a spouse

Who is known for his love of grouse.

His young wife Lady Mar

Spends  time in my car,

While her spouse is away with his grouse.

Schooner

There once was a beautiful young perfumer

Who went to sea in a schooner.

I am sad to say

That she sank near Bombay,

And I wept over my poor schooner.

Lou and Her Movie

When a naughty young lady Known as Lou

Decided to star in a movie most blue,

Me and Fred

Painted her red.

As for Lou, she painted us 2 blue!

A Review of My Recently Released Poetry Collection, My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses

I was pleased to receive the below review of my recently published collection, My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses:

 

“Regardless of the theme of the collection, I find it’s always the case when you read collections of poetry or stories that some will be more to your liking than others, even when you feel like it was an enjoyable collection overall. Especially when it comes to poetry, which tends to be designed to be open to interpretation. This collection of poetry is a perfect example of that, so that I did have my favourites. “The Wicked Old Cat” and “One Dark Halloween” were my favourites in this case.”

 

To read the original review on Goodreads please visit https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/5581172408.

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

When I said to my dear friends,

“I’ve burned the candle at both ends,

By drinking and sinning

With beautiful young women!”.

They said, “that Kevin! He always pretends!”.