There once was a man named Mole
Who had a liking for eating coal.
A jolly old squire
Lit a great fire
Which quickly burned Mole and his coal!
Mole Who was Fond of Eating Coal
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Tag Archives: humour
Wicked Miss Follett
A wicked young lady known as Follett
Has relieved many men of their wallet.
But me, being pure
I am perfectly sure
That my wallet is safe from Follett …!
—
A wicked young lady known as Follett
Has relieved many men of their wallet.
I hide mine behind the curtain
With a girl called Miss Person,
Where its perfectly safe from Miss Follett …!
A Gossipy Young Lady Known as Nell
A gossipy young lady known as Nell
Likes to claim she knows me well.
I remember Miss Jane
With her mean cane,
But I really don’t remember that Nell!
My Visit to Gloucester
When a young lady named Miss Foster
Said, “sir, come with me to Gloucester.
Me and my girlfriend
Want a dirty weekend!”,
It ended with hot coffee in Costa!
In Harness
As a guide dog owner, I have encountered some rather odd comments and questions. Take, for example, the gentleman who asked me whether my guide dog could read the numbers of buses!
However, the incident yesterday evening surely takes the dog biscuit. On my way home, after having enjoyed drinks with friends, a lady at a bus stop said, “I like your dog’s harness”.
I am known for my sense of humour which does, on occasions verge on the risqué. However, I bit my tongue, smiled and continued on my way home.
On telling a friend about the incident subsequently, he commented that the lady is probably spending her weekend on Google looking for harnesses. Obviously I have no idea what he means …
I Found a Sock
I found a sock
Too small to be mine.
Perhaps, after wine
Some lover of mine
Forgot her sock. But what
Do lovers do
When missing 1 sock?
Do they wear 1 shoe?
Politics and Beer
When a beer loving Socialist named Grub
Went and entered a prestigious Conservative club,
And they said, “why are you here!”,
He said, “I came here for beer,
As the beer here is very good!”.
Debauch
Following a night of great drunkenness and debauch
I found a young lady on my porch.
Her name it was Lou
And she’d lost a shoe.
I wonder, was she part of my debauch?
In the Morning, After a Night of Sinning
In the morning, after a night of sinning
With a group of most beautiful young women,
I met vicar Glynn,
Who condemned my sin.
But his young wife just couldn’t stop grinning!
Bedtime
I found 2 young ladies in red
Waiting in my fine old double bed.
They said, “we are Coral
And are both very moral”.
Dear reader, that is what they said …
K Morris - Poet 