When a young lady named Miss Lock
Tied me to a very old clock,
And I said, “is this your fetish?”,
She whacked me with a large lettuce,
As for me, I said, “tick tock!”.
Miss Lock’s Fetish
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Tag Archives: humour
There Once Was a Nymph Named Echo
There once was a nymph named Echo
Who spent all her days drinking Prosecco.
When they said, “is that nice?”,
She would repeat their words twice,
And then she would drink more Prosecco!
There Once Was a Vampire Named Dawn
There once was a vampire named Dawn
Who liked to dance on the lawn.
When they said, “is that good?”,
She would say, “I like blood.
Won’t you join me on this lawn?”.
Cultured Miss Marr
A cultured young lady known as Marr
Has a job in a rough bar.
When she quotes Shakespeare
The customers all cheer
And dance with Marr on the bar!
Here Comes a Chopper to Chop Off my Head!
When a wicked young man named Ted
Said, “I shall chop off your head!”,
And his friend Max
Passed him an axe,
I found I was dreaming in bed!
Purely by Accident
When I accidentally entered a striptease bar
And got accosted by Pretty Miss Marr,
I said to Miss Coral,
“Are you girls quite moral?”,
As I returned that young lady’s bra …
Simulation
When I met a philosopher of this nation
Who said, “we’re all living in a simulation”.
I gave him a big kick
And whacked him with a stick,
Which was fine as we’re in a simulation!
The Joys of Being a Pig
There was a young lady named Pam
Who liked to gorge on boiled ham.
When they said, “you’re a pig!”,
She would chew on her wig
As she rolled in marmalade and jam!
Royal Mail
When a young lady wearing just socks
Jumped out from a red pillar box ,
And a postman named Marr
Said, “want to go far?”,
She said, “well, I’m wearing just socks …”.
Time for Bed
When a young lady dressed in red
Pulled me into a very large bed
I said to her, “Hop!
You and I should stop!
As the customers have turned bright red!”.
K Morris - Poet 