When a young lady sitting on a church
Said, “I hear your fond of the birch”,
The good vicar Ted
Thought of his bed,
And the bishop he thought of the birch!
The Joys of the Birch
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Tag Archives: humour
A Beautiful Young Vampire Named Miss White
A beautiful young vampire named Miss White
Promised to be my lover last night.
I offered her steak,
Which was a mistake
As I got no loving last night!
The Pretty Maid
I know a most pretty young maid
And many a game we have played.
Her hair has a kink
And she dresses in pink
And I hear she’s the vicars maid!
Knuckle Sandwich
I met a man digging a ditch
Who kindly offered me a knuckle sandwich.
A girl named Kate
Passed me a plate
Which amused that man in that ditch!
Causing a Commotion
I know a young lady named Ocean
Who is fond of causing a commotion.
She jumps in my bath
And all my friends laugh,
And my girlfriend she causes a commotion!
The Dangers of Technology
When a young man, just for a laugh
Went and used his laptop in the bath,
There came a bang.
All the angels sang,
And he flew all the way to Bath!
Miss Lock’s Fetish
When a young lady named Miss Lock
Tied me to a very old clock,
And I said, “is this your fetish?”,
She whacked me with a large lettuce,
As for me, I said, “tick tock!”.
There Once Was a Nymph Named Echo
There once was a nymph named Echo
Who spent all her days drinking Prosecco.
When they said, “is that nice?”,
She would repeat their words twice,
And then she would drink more Prosecco!
There Once Was a Vampire Named Dawn
There once was a vampire named Dawn
Who liked to dance on the lawn.
When they said, “is that good?”,
She would say, “I like blood.
Won’t you join me on this lawn?”.
Cultured Miss Marr
A cultured young lady known as Marr
Has a job in a rough bar.
When she quotes Shakespeare
The customers all cheer
And dance with Marr on the bar!
K Morris - Poet 