I once met a very large alligator
Who asked could he borrow my calculator.
I said to him, “mate
Please go and eat Kate.
She’ll taste much nicer than my calculator!”.
The Alligator and My Calculator
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Tag Archives: humour
A Young Lady Who is Really Nice
A young lady who is really nice
Is known for her love of spice.
Her name is Miss Lott
And she likes it hot.
And she also likes curry and rice!
The Importance of Hope!
There once was a man named Hope
Who jumped out of a large envelope.
He gave a great shout,
Which caused quite a rout!
Then returned by post to Good Hope!
When a Wicked Old Rake Known as Winning
When a wicked old rake known as Winning
Said, “I’ve lost count of all the women
I have taken to bed”.
A young lady in red, said,
“With me you will not be winning, Winning!”.
Alexa Says it Won’t Rain Today
Alexa says it won’t rain today.
I put my coat on anyway.
Sure enough, it rains again.
Should I maintain
My faith in the reliability
Of modern technology?
No, today I shall pray
To the god of rain
And silently blast
The weather forecast!
Do that Again
When a beautiful young lady named Gwen
Said, “please go and do that again!”,
A writer called White
Smiled with great delight,
As again, he reached for his pen.
There Once Was a Slug From Slough
There once was a slug from Slough
Who said, “I really don’t know how
This lettuce tastes so good!
I wish that I could
Spend my days eating lettuce in Slough!”
Poet Kevin Morris on the World Poetry Reading Series for 24 October 2024
I was pleased to appear on the World Poetry Reading Series for Thursday 24 October. During the show, I talk about my life and poetry. In addition I read a number of my poems, including several from my recently published collection, The Churchyard Yew and Other Poems.
To listen to the podcast please visit https://www.mixcloud.com/VictorSchwartzman/world-poetry-cafe-oct-24-with-kevin-morris/
. My segment begins approximately 20 minutes into the podcast.
Friends with Benefits
I know a young lady named Miss Kipps
Who is looking for a friend with benefits.
When I say, “honey,
I have no money”,
That Miss Kipps her sides she almost splits!
I’m Having a Bit of a Fling
I’m having a bit of a fling
With a girl who calls herself Ling.
My wife Moriah
Fancies the squire,
And the squire he likes to swing!
K Morris - Poet 