Valentine’s day.
He would propose
With a rose,
But the government does say,
“Stay away
From your lover.
On Valentine’s day!
Its true that you
May infect one another.
And if you do,
Not your romance cease
The police
Will issue a fine
for breech of lockdown!
You may your sorrows drown
Alone, at home
In beer or fine wine.
But do not go online
For there you will find
Young women who will, if the price be right,
Keep you snug and warm, on this Valentine’s night …”.
If you hear a wicked rumour
About an extremely beautiful young perfumer,
By the name of Miss White,
And what we did last night.
Remember, its just a wicked rumour!
—
If you hear a wicked rumour
About an extremely beautiful young perfumer,
By the name of Miss White
And what we did last night.
Remember, she’s a beautiful young perfumer …
When a young lady said to me,
Kevin, are you fond of naked poetry?”.
I said, “my dear Heather
It is such cold weather.
So please provide lots of hot tea!”.
When a young lady named Miss Spink
Said, “sir, have you seen my kink?”.
That terrible old killjoy Clair
Said, “its in her hair”.
But Spink, she gave me a wink!
As I sat busily at my writing
With my beautiful young friend Miss Whiting,
She gave me a smile
And said, “in a while,
Let us do something far more exciting …”.
Whilst hiding in a large metal bin
I met a young lady named Lin.
She dressed in clear plastic
And had morals most elastic.
But I didn’t give in to sin!
—
Whilst hiding in a rather large metal bin
With a most sinful young lady named Lin,
A kindly constable called Ted
Said, “please go to bed.
You’d be more comfortable than in this bin!”.
There once was a wicked old squire
Who lusted after his young housemaid Moriah.
Of an evening late
He lay in wait.
And got brained by Moriah’s hair dryer!
As I strolled by a deep old canal
A young man said, “your poems are banal”.
I said, “there is no one around
And a man may so easily drown.
And the path is treacherous by this canal”.
When a plump young lady named Bess
Tried to put on a little dress,
Her forgetful friend, Miss Lou
Said, “I’ve lost my shoe.
And Bess, you have ripped that dress!”.
Whilst walking home very late last night
I met with a vampire named Right.
She had beautiful white fangs
And spoke of great bangs.
And we are meeting again at midnight.
K Morris - Poet 