Tag Archives: humorous verse

My AI Girlfriend

I have just purchased an AI girlfriend

Who is driving me round the bend.

She calls me her honey

And spends all my money,,

Which is just like my real girlfriend!

Respectability

When a young lady wearing 1 spectacle

Said, “sir, I am not that respectable!”.

I said to her, “Flair,

That’s a very big pare!”.

She said, “sir, you are not respectable!”.

As I Leafed Through Dusty Old Tomes

As I leafed through dusty old tomes

I heard a loud rattle of bones.

Twas merely a ghost

Stealing crumpets and toast,

But it distracted me from those tomes!

When a Girl Who is Full of Vice

When a girl who is full of vice

Said, “I’ll cover you in chocolate and ice!”.

I said, “my dear,

The bishop draws near,

And I hear he’s a connoisseur of vice …!”.

Grouse

I know an old lord with a spouse

Who is known for his love of grouse.

His young wife Lady Mar

Spends  time in my car,

While her spouse is away with his grouse.

Schooner

There once was a beautiful young perfumer

Who went to sea in a schooner.

I am sad to say

That she sank near Bombay,

And I wept over my poor schooner.

Lou and Her Movie

When a naughty young lady Known as Lou

Decided to star in a movie most blue,

Me and Fred

Painted her red.

As for Lou, she painted us 2 blue!

Burning the Candle at Both Ends

When I said to my dear friends,

“I’ve burned the candle at both ends,

By drinking and sinning

With beautiful young women!”.

They said, “that Kevin! He always pretends!”.

A Young Barmaid Who Works in the Grouse

A young barmaid who works in the Grouse

Likes to give me one on the house.

Her name is Miss Spink,

And she likes a drink,

And to give me one on the house!

June Author Newsletter

I am pleased to announce that my June Author Newsletter is available and can be found here. It is over a year since my last newsletter, and I promise to be much better in the future.