I know a most pretty young maid
And many a game we have played.
Her hair has a kink
And she dresses in pink
And I hear she’s the vicars maid!
The Pretty Maid
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
Knuckle Sandwich
I met a man digging a ditch
Who kindly offered me a knuckle sandwich.
A girl named Kate
Passed me a plate
Which amused that man in that ditch!
Causing a Commotion
I know a young lady named Ocean
Who is fond of causing a commotion.
She jumps in my bath
And all my friends laugh,
And my girlfriend she causes a commotion!
The Dangers of Technology
When a young man, just for a laugh
Went and used his laptop in the bath,
There came a bang.
All the angels sang,
And he flew all the way to Bath!
Miss Lock’s Fetish
When a young lady named Miss Lock
Tied me to a very old clock,
And I said, “is this your fetish?”,
She whacked me with a large lettuce,
As for me, I said, “tick tock!”.
There Once Was a Nymph Named Echo
There once was a nymph named Echo
Who spent all her days drinking Prosecco.
When they said, “is that nice?”,
She would repeat their words twice,
And then she would drink more Prosecco!
Here Comes a Chopper to Chop Off my Head!
When a wicked young man named Ted
Said, “I shall chop off your head!”,
And his friend Max
Passed him an axe,
I found I was dreaming in bed!
Purely by Accident
When I accidentally entered a striptease bar
And got accosted by Pretty Miss Marr,
I said to Miss Coral,
“Are you girls quite moral?”,
As I returned that young lady’s bra …
Royal Mail
When a young lady wearing just socks
Jumped out from a red pillar box ,
And a postman named Marr
Said, “want to go far?”,
She said, “well, I’m wearing just socks …”.
Time for Bed
When a young lady dressed in red
Pulled me into a very large bed
I said to her, “Hop!
You and I should stop!
As the customers have turned bright red!”.
K Morris - Poet 