My pretty young mistress named Alice
Resides in the great Crystal Palace.
The bishop’s wife Claire
Has a cold stare.
And her daughter’s name is Alice.
My Mistress
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
On Entering My Brand New Shower
As I entered my brand new shower
I met a young lady named Power.
She said to me,
“May I have tea?
But first, lets try this power shower!”.
The Missing Cat
When a girl wearing a huge hat
Said, “has anyone seen my pet cat?”.
A man named Steve
Said, “my dear Eve,
That cat is concealed in your hat!”.
Walking a Tightrope
A young lady walking a tightrope
Said, “singing it helps me cope”.
So she sang real loud,
Which wowed the huge crowd.
But alas, that tightrope it broke!
Leigh and Her PHD
When a young lady named Leigh
Told me she had a PHD,
That naughty Miss Spink
Said, “it’s in kink”.
And Leigh showed it to me …
Claire and the Millionaires
My friend whose name is Claire
Has married many an elderly millionaire.
Their ends where all bad
But Claire is not sad,
As she’s just become a billionaire!
My Dating Experience
When I joined a website called Virgin Dating
The ad said, “its time to stop waiting!”.
I have had many a date
With a young lady named Kate.
And, my dear readers, I am still waiting …
My New Girlfriend’s Shoes
Whilst drunk on very cheap booze
I borrowed my new girlfriend’s shoes.
I walked all around
This familiar old town.
And lost my girlfriend and shoes!
Izzy
I know a gorgeous lady named Izzy
Who, on account of being incredibly busy
Sent her rather plain cousin Kate
To meet me for a date.
But I had arranged to see Izzy!
When A Young Lady Named Miss Doyle
When a young lady named Miss Doyle
Said, “have you seen my massage oil?”.
I said, “your behaviour is truly shocking!
I can hear the good vicar knocking!
Ah, that’s why you want the oil!”.
K Morris - Poet 