Tag Archives: funny poems

You Should Always Write What you Know

I met a young lady named Flow
Who said, “always write what you know”.
So I wrote something rude
And more than just crude,
And got sued by wicked Miss Flow

As I Boarded the 7 pm Train

As I boarded the 7 pm train
I met a young lady named Elane.
We went real fast
Then, at long last
The driver began to drive that train …!

When I Decided to Make a Full Confession

When I decided to make a full confession
Concerning a young lady of a certain profession,
Her lawyer Lou
Threatened to sue,
So I decided to show much more discretion …!

I Know a Young Lady Named Coral

I know a young lady named Coral
Who is stern and ever so moral.
The good vicar Spink
Gave me a wink.
I think he knows more about Coral …

I Once Met a Very Eminent Professor

I once met a very eminent professor
Who lived in a large Welsh dresser.
When I asked him why
He heaved a great sigh,
And said, “you’re not my Father Confessor!”

The Arty Swingers Party

When I went to a swingers party
With my friend who is very arty,
Pretty Miss Ling
Painted a swing,
And my friend she painted that party!

Kate’s Improper Date

There was a young lady named Kate
Who went on a most improper date.
The vicar was there
With his mistress Claire,
And a waitress who just couldn’t wait …!

When a Young Lady in a Hurry

When a young lady in a hurry
Fell into a hot plate of curry,
A diner from Madras
Raised his wine glass,
And toasted that girl and his curry!

A Young Lady from Crystal Palace

A young lady from Crystal Palace
Is known to me as Alice.
She calls men her honey
And steals all their money.
And now she’s buying a palace!

I Once Met a Girl with a Lettuce

I once met a girl with a lettuce
Who spoke to me of her peculiar fetish.
Some girls they love whipped cream
But to me it does seem
That you can’t beat a girl’s fetish lettuce!