When a young lady who sat mixing paste
Said, “your poetry is not to my taste!”,
Just for a caper
I grabbed some wallpaper,
And stuck it to her using that paste!
Decorating
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Tag Archives: funny poems
Miss Kipper’s Slipper
There is a young lady named Kipper
Who is famous for using a slipper.
I have heard tell
She does it well.
And the vicar he’s lost his slipper!
There Once Was a Man Named Ted
There once was a man named Ted
Who recited Chaucer standing on his head.
But a driver called Gus
Said “not on the bus!”,
So he quoted the great Dickens instead!
There Was a Young Lady of Bangkok
There was a young lady of Bangkok
Who collected many a fine gentleman’s sock.
Some men lost their shoes
Whilst drunk on strong booze,
But most of them lost a sock.
The Affair that Almost Was
When a young lady named Flair
Said, “would you like an affair?”.
I said, “I’m full of anticipation.
But its busy in Paddington station.
And it might upset the bear!”.
(Anyone familiar with London’s Paddington station will be aware that a statue of Paddington bear stands near to platform 1).
The Importance of Discretion
I met a young lady with petite feet
Who said, “please promise you will be discreet”.
I went back with Grace
To her sweet little place.
She lives at 7, such and such street …
I Met a Young Lady Named Ling
I met a young lady named Ling
And enjoyed a bit of a fling.
All went real well
Then, sad to tell,
Ling suggested I buy her a ring …!
When a Young Lady Who is Divine
When a young lady who is divine
Came round to mine with some wine,
It ended in the lake
With a large cream cake,
And the vicar at just gone 9 …!
Holly Who Often Leads Me into Folly
A young lady named Holly
Often leads me into folly.
At just gone midnight
We met Miss White
And rode her shopping trolley!
When a Young Lady Wearing Stockings and Suspenders
When a young lady wearing stockings and suspenders
Said, “you men you are all terrible pretenders!”.
They said to her, “Hocking!
Your behaviour Is real shocking!
You should wear more than stockings and suspenders …!”.
K Morris - Poet 