A man whose name was Wood
Said my poetry was no good.
In the forest dark
His end was stark.
But my alibi it was good …
Alibi
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Tag Archives: funny poem
Decorum
I know a young lady named Rose
Who walks around whilst wearing no clothes.
But when we go shopping
She does wear 1 stocking.
Which I think shows decorum by Rose!
Chancer
I awoke with a gorgeous lap dancer
Who said, “sir, you are a chancer!”.
I said, “dear Miss Follit
Have you seen my wallet?”.
She said, “sir, I’m also a chancer!”.
A Brutal Young Man Named Keith
A brutal young man named Keith
Threatened to knock out my teeth.
But I produced my faithful knuckleduster,
Which got him in a fluster,
Now Keith is wearing false teeth …!
Squire Pleasant
My uncle, the good natured Squire Pleasant
Invited me to go and shoot peasant.
I went with my spouse
And found peasants and grouse,
And the police who arrested Squire Pleasant!
Should I Make a Full Confession
Should I make a full confession
Concerning my most recent shocking indiscretion?
It concerns Miss Amy
And her girlfriend Jamie –
And a lawyer who advised discretion …!
When a Young Lady Traveling in My Carriage
When a young lady traveling in my carriage
Said, “sir, I think you are proposing marriage!”,
I said to her, “Claire,
Lets stick to an affair.
Then she kicked me out of that carriage!
When a Young Lady Smoking a Cigar
When a young lady smoking a cigar
Said, “has anyone seen my new bra?”,
An ageing rake known as Morris
Passed her The Odes of Horace,
But he kept that young lady’s bra!
I Once Had a Girlfriend Named Jamie
I once had a girlfriend named Jamie
Who said, “this relationship is too samey!”.
When I suggested we see Miss White
She said, “we did that last night!
Lets have Miss Right tonight”, said Jamie …!
Miss Ria’s New Year
There was a young lady named Ria
Who, it being a brand new year,
Drank a whole bottle of wine,
Which was more or less fine,
But then she turned to strong beer …!
K Morris - Poet 