In the churchyard, something fell from a tree
And nearly hit me
There is a time for composing fine rhyme
About graveyards and mortality.
And the occasional limerick can be great fun.
But trees assaulting me!
That makes me run!
There was a young man named Paul
Who jumped off a very high wall.
He aimed for custard
But landed in mustard!
Which was far too hot for Paul!
I met a young lady of a certain profession
Who said, “sir, do please show some discretion!”,
Her name is Miss Bess
And here is her address –
But no! I think I should show more discretion!
When a young lady known as Dawn
Went and swallowed acorns on the lawn,
And they said to her, “dear!
Trees will sprout from your ear!”,
She said, “pardon!”, and swallowed another acorn
The gorgeous and very talented Miss Unity
Is well known in the poetry community.
She reads her verse nude,
Which many find quite rude!
And then I go home with Unity …!
There once was a careless young guy
Who fell into some very sharp cacti.
He said with a squeal,
“These are the real deal!”.
Then sighed and died from those cacti!
As I sat reciting poetry at midnight
I spied a young lady dressed in white.
When I said, “are you a ghost!”,
She said, “no! I’m your host!
And your poetry woke me up at midnight!”
There once was a man from Bristol
Who was famous for his antique pistol.
When he gave a great cough
That old gun it went off!
There once was a man from Bristol …!
I know a young lady from France
Who likes to dance on a high branch.
When she’s in the mood
I’ve seen her dance nude –
But not on a very high branch!
I know a young lady of ill repute
Who has great skill in playing the flute.
Her friend Miss Morgan
Plays the vicar’s organ –
They say he’s a man of great repute …!
K Morris - Poet 