Tag Archives: funny poem

Cerebral

A young lady who is really most cerebral

Said, “your poetry it is so very terrible!”

I said to her, Jane,

You have a great brain,

But your manners they are really most terrible!”

Goth

When I met a beautiful young Goth

Who was suffering from a bad cough,

I felt such bliss

When we two kissed.

But that Goth gave me her cough!

 

 

A Young Lady’s Sock

A young lady drunk on Hock

Walked around wearing only 1 sock.

When they said, “you’re nude!,

Which is so very rude!”

She said, “I’m wearing a sock!”

Celebrity

A celebrity who appears on my TV

Is looking for a date with me.

Her name is Miss Spink

And I’ve seen her wink,

And I know that winks for me!

Jacinta’s Splinter

When a young lady named Jacinta

Went and trod on a splinter,

She hopped all around

And said something profound.

And then she cursed that splinter!

If there is No Heaven or Hell

If there is no heaven or hell

Then one may as well

Give in to sin.

 

 

But they say Hell’s fire is hot

So perhaps better not

Play with pretty Miss Moriah.

 

 

Though I have heard the atheists tell

There is no hell.

So I’m going to heaven

With Moriah at 7 …

The Man Who Liked to Eat Chalk

A man who liked to eat chalk

Said that it helped him to talk.

One day, feeling bored,

He swallowed a blackboard.

Which worked very well with that chalk!

 

Reading in Bed

When I met a young lady in red

Who said, “do you read when in bed?”,

I said, “dear Miss Ling

Do you fancy a fling?”,

She said, “I only read in my bed!”

Careless Miss White

A careless young lady named Miss White

Often falls in the street at night.

A kindly vicar called Paul

Said, “many young women fall”,

As he picked her up last night …!

The Dangers of Blackmail

When a young man named Lee

Went and tried to blackmail me,

I gave a big smile

And said, “meet Mr crocodile!”

Which ended that blackmail and Lee …!