There once was a wicked old squire
Who lusted after his young housemaid Moriah.
Of an evening late
He lay in wait.
And got brained by Moriah’s hair dryer!
There Once Was a Wicked Old Squire
Leave a reply
Tag Archives: funny poem
As I Strolled By a Deep Old Canal
As I strolled by a deep old canal
A young man said, “your poems are banal”.
I said, “there is no one around
And a man may so easily drown.
And the path is treacherous by this canal”.
Bess and Lou
When a plump young lady named Bess
Tried to put on a little dress,
Her forgetful friend, Miss Lou
Said, “I’ve lost my shoe.
And Bess, you have ripped that dress!”.
Miss Right
Whilst walking home very late last night
I met with a vampire named Right.
She had beautiful white fangs
And spoke of great bangs.
And we are meeting again at midnight.
Bess’s Dress
There once was a young lady named Bess
Who was well known for her special dress.
That wise old Miss Rose
Speaks of the Emperor’s Clothes.
And Bess, who wore a very special dress.
Missed
When a young man named Mr Grist
Said, “you are well and truly missed!”.
And I said, “I’ve been drinking”.
He said, “Sir, I’ve been thinking
Of a word that rhymes with missed!”.
Online
You can find
Almost anything online.
Fine wine.
A pet.
And Miss Yvette.
Who, I regret,
(Cough, Cough),
Takes her clothes
Off, on the internet.
Or so I’m told
By bold
Miss Rose.
Who, everyone knows
Is great
Friends with Yvette. And Kate,
Who looks divine online.
Or so I understand
From that old rake Bland!
Billy the Poet
There once was a man named Billy
Who composed poems both profound and silly.
At a great funeral wake
He drowned in a lake,
Whilst reciting a silly poem to Lilly.
My Friend, Whose Name is Bess
My friend, whose name is Bess
Wears stilettos and a short dress.
That priggish Miss Coral
Says, “that girls immoral!”.
And she’s totally right about Bess!
Of Sonnets and High-Heel Shoes
A young lady wearing only 1 high-heel shoe
Composed a fine sonnet at just gone 2.
As the clock struck 4,
She said “I truly adore
Writing sonnets, but where is my other shoe!”.
—
A young lady wearing only 1 high-heel shoe
Composed a fine sonnet at just gone 2.
As the clock struck 4,
I knocked on her door
And said, “miss, have you lost a shoe?.
K Morris - Poet 