When an elderly gentleman named Matt
Said, “have you seen my cat?”,
A man called Hogg
Spoke of his dog,
And me? I ate my hat!
Matt’s Cat
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Category Archives: newauthoronline
Loose Morals
A bishop riding on a goose
Said, “modern morals are too loose!”.
The creature said, “honk!”,
Which rhymes with bonk,
As it’s morals where somewhat loose!
Miss Lou’s Fetish
When I met a young lady named Lou
Who said, “I’ll explore my fetish with you!”,
I began to dream
Of strawberries and cream.
But Lou’s shoe left me black and blue!
Birds on a March Evening
Birds on a March evening.
Such beauty and grieving
For we all must sleep,.
Sometimes I almost weep
For birds in the evening
Will sing on
When I am gone.
Yet this night
I shall take delight
In evening birds.
For the graveyard plot
Has no song.
The Joys of the Birch
When a young lady sitting on a church
Said, “I hear your fond of the birch”,
The good vicar Ted
Thought of his bed,
And the bishop he thought of the birch!
Passing By
The ageing poet deals
In rhymes of passing time.
As girls in heels
Laugh as they pass by.
Their minds are not
On the ticking clock,
Nor on poets who sigh
As they heedlessly pass by.
A Beautiful Young Vampire Named Miss White
A beautiful young vampire named Miss White
Promised to be my lover last night.
I offered her steak,
Which was a mistake
As I got no loving last night!
Time’s Scythe
February is slipping away.
It is easy to say
I will act tomorrow,
But why not act today?
For each moment I borrow
And Time’s unyielding knife
Ends all joy and strife.
And none can say
When his scythe may fall.
But it must fall
And bring all to dust.
The Pretty Maid
I know a most pretty young maid
And many a game we have played.
Her hair has a kink
And she dresses in pink
And I hear she’s the vicars maid!
Knuckle Sandwich
I met a man digging a ditch
Who kindly offered me a knuckle sandwich.
A girl named Kate
Passed me a plate
Which amused that man in that ditch!
K Morris - Poet 