Category Archives: literature

There Once Was a Girl Named Strange

There once was a girl named Strange
Who lived in a haunted old grange.
She called each ghoul
“You stupid old fool!”,
Which the ghouls found really quite strange!

As Halloween Approaches

As Halloween approaches
The vampire broaches
The possibility of me
Coming round for tea.

She says, “its good
To eat black pudd.
But I never will partake
Of any kind of steak!”.

I reply, “my dear Lou
I shall use garlic shampoo
When I visit this Halloween.
Lou! Why do you scream!”.


An intense sense
Of my mortality
Comes to me
When I hear
The sweet clear
Song of birds.

Oft when caught
In useless thought
Or in empty words,
I hear the birds.
I see beauty.
And am free

When a Young Lady Named Miss Claire

When a young lady named Miss Claire
Said, “why do the people all stare!”,
Her favourite aunt Rose
Passed her some clothes,
And the vicar fell off his chair!

As I Grow Older

As I grow older
A girl’s bare shoulder
And her sweet perfume
Still attracts. Distracts me.

But, when I hear
Her call me “Sir”,
Morning becomes late afternoon,
As night draws near.

Miss Prism

There once was a girl named Prism
Who wrote a big book on Conservatism.
A young lady named Lou
Spanked men with her shoe.
But that’s nothing to do with Conservatism!

A Young Lady Named Miss Pearl

A young lady named Miss Pearl
Is known as an immoral girl.
A rascal called Dan
Likes to visit Ann.
And I like to visit Pearl …

Keith and the Leaf

When a young man named Keith
Said, “I shall kick this leaf!”,
A great wit called Dan
Said, “you big strong man!”.
But that leaf it defeated Keith!

A Professional Young Lady Named Molly

A professional young lady named Molly
Is known for her ancient folly,
Where gentlemen go for tea
Each day at half-past 3,
And enjoy that young lady’s folly …

There Was a Young Lady Named Sky

There was a young lady named Sky
Who said, “kiss me or I’ll die!”.
Her philosopher boyfriend Paul
Said, “all men fall.
And we all must one day die!”.