Category Archives: creative writing

Was Squeers Misrepresented By Dickens In Nicholas Nickleby

In his novel, Nicholas Nickleby, Charles Dickens portrays Wackford Squeers (the headmaster) as a sadist with no redeeming features. Squeers was based on the (actual) headmaster of a Yorkshire school named William Shaw who was prosecuted for child cruelty. However, according to a descendant of William Shaw he was, in fact a humane man who was liked by his students and by the community in which his school operated. Dickens therefore does Shaw a great injustice in his portrayal of him in Nicholas Nickleby.
To read the article please visit https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1316931/The-real-Squeers-was-no-Dickens-brute-claims-descendant.html

“Doctor Foster” Reinterpreted

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I have played around, (purely for my own amusement), with the English nursery rhyme “Doctor Foster”. The first rendering is the traditional rendering, followed by my reinterpretations:

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He stepped in a puddle,
Right up to his middle,
And never went there again.

—

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He got in a muddle,
When he fell in a puddle,
And never went there again.

—

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He indulged in a cuddle,
In the midst of a puddle,
With a lady whose name was Jane.

—

Doctor Foster went to
Gloucester,
In a shower of rain;
He stepped in a puddle,
Which did befuddle
His poor overtaxed brain.

There Was An Elderly Man Called Monk

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There was an elderly man called Monk
Who sat in a pub getting drunk.
When the barmaid looked askance
He asked her to dance.
That disreputable old drunkard called Monk!

Nails

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Women of a certain profession
Draw up at nail bars
In their boyfriend’s fast cars.
While priests hear the confession
Of those impaled
On nails.

There Was A Young Lady Called Claire

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There was a young lady called Claire
Who’s feet where always bare.
She went for an interview
Without any shoe.
I know as I was there!

—

I knew a young lady called Claire
Who’s feet where invariably bare.
She walked on hot coals
While playing at bowls.
I know as I was there!

—

There was a young lady called Claire
Who’s feet where always bare.
She was a dancer by profession
And I must make a confession
For I am that young lady Claire!

Many Who Are Given

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Many who are given
What they have striven
For
Find in the experience a poor
Shadow of the ideal they so adore.

If the longed for kiss
Brings no bliss
Then off they lurch
In search
Of their extreme
Dream
And in the supreme
Moment of joy
They do themselves destroy

A Drunken Young Lady Called Mable

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A drunken young lady called Mable
Danced on a rickety old table.
We all gave a roar
And called out “en core”,
But that table was really unstable …

On Reading A Book About Poetic Craft

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Birds
Render words
About poetic craft
Dull.

Am I daft
To seek
For knowledge in a book
When I could upon nature look
And hear the birds speak?

Ruth Ellis: The Last Woman To Hang In The UK

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Ruth Ellis was the last woman to be hanged here in the United Kingdom. She shot her lover who had been physically abusive towards her. (During the trial Ellis mentioned how he had punched her in the stomach which may well have contributed to the loss of the baby she was carrying).

Today Eliss would, no doubt have received a prison sentence. This would, however have (in all probability) been light in nature due to the extreme physical abuse she suffered at the hands of her lover. The Ellis case is one of the reasons why I am, on balance opposed to the death penalty, https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/mar/12/ruth-ellis-files-bbc-documentary-murder-case-cant-let-go