There was a young man called Bert
Who was a terrible flirt.
He met a girl one day
Who to his dismay
Knocked him down in the dirt!
There Was A Young Man Called Bert
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Category Archives: books
There Was A Young Lady Called Nell
There was a young lady called Nell
Who, feeling unwell
Went to see a doctor named Locke.
He said, “Knock, Knock,
I have a terrible joke to tell”!
There Was A Young Lady Called Amanda
There was a young lady called Amanda
Who went to school with a panda.
The teacher did say,
“Take your pet away,
To you I refuse to pander”!
—
There was a young lady called Amanda
Who went to school with a panda.
Her teacher said
As he scratched his head,
“Is that your panda Amanda?”
Runaway Car
A bizarre
Dream of a runaway car,
As real
As this desk I feel.
A mad man driving,
Me striving
To get out.
No point to shout.
Me on the phone.
The driver alone
In his crazed head.
We stop, I am not dead.
A few incoherent words are said
By one
Who is in his mind far gone.
I stay.
He moves away.
—
A day breaks much like any other.
Soon I may discover
What man drove that phantom car
And who we really are.
Perhaps he is me
And I am he …
There Was A Young Communist Called Fred
There was a young Communist called Fred
Who the complete works of Marx had read.
He attended all Party meetings,
Giving the correct fraternal greetings,
But the world it refused to turn red!
A Morbid Young Lady Called Fay
A morbid young lady called Fay
Said “all this will pass away”.
Her friends said, “Things aren’t that bad.
Don’t be so sad.
She died the very next day!
There Was A Young Man Called McManners
There was a young man called McManners
Who was a designer of banners.
He designed one so crude
And with wording so rude,
It was obvious he lacked any manners!
There Was A Young Man Called Mark
There was a young man called Mark
Who lived with a killer shark.
The creature said,
“My future I dread
But yours is very dark”!
The Disquiet of Quiet
The disquiet
Of quiet.
Turn up the sound
And drown
Out the bird
Whose song
Before long
Will stab you to the heart
Causing tears to start.
I, for my part
Listen
Though the tears glisten.
I become a child, for a while
Without guile,
Smile
And yearn to be free
Of me.
There Was A Young Lady Called Flare
There was a young lady called Flare
Who met a handsome man on the stair.
Several hours later
He said, “I’m a waiter”,
But Flare didn’t care …!
—
There was a young lady called Flare
Who met a handsome man on the stair.
Several hours later
He said, “I’m a waiter
And we are blocking the stair …”!
