I know a person of old London town
Who decided their sorrows to drown
But having no cash
They took action most rash.
Now the judge he is sending them down!
—
There once was a lady of London town
Who wore a perpetual frown.
In a leaky old tent,
In a place called Kent
She married a jolly old clown!
—
There once was a lady called Black
Who’s heels whent clickety clack.
When in a graveyard at night
She received a most terrible fright,
So ran and didn’t look back!
In autumn leaves patter
Down.
The vane
Frown
And dye their hair
As though ‘twere
Not so.
But the wise know
That leaves must
Turn to dust
And life’s dream shatter.
Oh! how he did hustle for heels
And oh! how her hips
Did so deliciously sway.
But oh! how time slips
Unnoticed Away!
There once was a ghost called Banquo
Who, having nowhere particular to go
Frightened poor Macbeth
Half to death
As all lovers of Shakespeare know.
The hay
Imagined sweet.
Feet
That dance
Without romance.
Then she is on her way
For there is no contract to stay,
Just a roll in the hay
And pay, pay, pay.
A beautiful young lady from France
Asked me whether I wished to dance.
As we started to waltz
I said, “are you false?”
She replied, “shush, just enjoy the dance!”.
—
When a naughty young lady called Samantha
Went to school with her panther
The teacher looked black
And said, “take it straight back,
I have no room for your panther!”.
There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
I have often seen
The Devil dance and grin!
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
Or so I glean
She lit that giant pumpkin.
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who committed a most terrible sin.
Twas in the depths of the dark
When, with her brother Mark
She stole my prize pumpkin!
When a sheepish young man called Lee
Came Sidling up to me
And said, “your girlfriend Grace
Has a great little place”,
With him I did agree …!
When a sporty young lady called Samantha
Went for a ride on a panther,
The creature, having a stomach ache
Said, “I shall not partake
Of any lunch today Samantha”.
I heard an ad for artificial grass
And flowers too
To adorn the gardens of me and you.
What need for what is true
When one can make a pass
At a girl who’s silicon filled bust
engenders lust?
Into the future we thrust
Both lad and lass.
But the artificial grass
Must also pass.
