Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Voltaire

As I walked through Trafalgar Square

I met the ghost of Voltaire.

I said, “are you Candide?”.

He said, “no sir! Indeed!

I am Voltaire! haunting Trafalgar Square!”

The Clever Cow

I once met a clever cow

Who said, “I don’t know how

All of my milk

Is smooth as silk!”,

I said, “wow! A talking cow!”

When a Pushy Young Author Named Lee

When a pushy young author named Lee

Said, “I demand that you support me!”,

I said, “life is brief

And it ends in grief.

Now Lee, do accept this fifty pea!”

When My Dear Old Aunt Named Kate

When my dear old aunt named Kate

Died and left me her whole estate,

I received a broken pencil

And a very empty till,

And an IOU from my aunt Kate!

Haughty Kath

When a haughty young lady named Kath

Demanded that I run her a bath,

And I said, “do it yourself!”

She said, “but I’m an elf!”. ,

I said, “go magic your own bath!”

Eliot’s Handstand

When I saw Eliot doing a handstand

I asked him to explain the Wasteland.

He said, “my poem is complex

And many people it has vexed!”.

I said, “yes! That I can understand!”

Ron the Poet

There once was a poet named Ron

Who said, “poetry is for everyone!”,

But when he wrote on a bus

The driver created such a fuss!

As he didn’t like poetry or Ron!

Miss Rusty

When a young lady known as Rusty

Said, “you Sir are old and crusty!”.

I said to her, “Miss,

Some girls bring great bliss.

But you Miss are so very rusty!”

Foolish Mark

When a foolish young man known as Mark

Went for a walk in a haunted park,

A kindly old ghoul

Said, “you’re a fool!

But I’ll let you off this once Mark!”

There Once Was a Lady of Settle

There once was a lady of Settle

Who went and stood on a nettle.

She said such bad words

That it frightened the birds,

And shocked the good people of Settle!