Tag Archives: nonsense verse

When My Dear Old Aunt Named Kate

When my dear old aunt named Kate

Died and left me her whole estate,

I received a broken pencil

And a very empty till,

And an IOU from my aunt Kate!

Haughty Kath

When a haughty young lady named Kath

Demanded that I run her a bath,

And I said, “do it yourself!”

She said, “but I’m an elf!”. ,

I said, “go magic your own bath!”

Eliot’s Handstand

When I saw Eliot doing a handstand

I asked him to explain the Wasteland.

He said, “my poem is complex

And many people it has vexed!”.

I said, “yes! That I can understand!”

Ron the Poet

There once was a poet named Ron

Who said, “poetry is for everyone!”,

But when he wrote on a bus

The driver created such a fuss!

As he didn’t like poetry or Ron!

Miss Rusty

When a young lady known as Rusty

Said, “you Sir are old and crusty!”.

I said to her, “Miss,

Some girls bring great bliss.

But you Miss are so very rusty!”

Foolish Mark

When a foolish young man known as Mark

Went for a walk in a haunted park,

A kindly old ghoul

Said, “you’re a fool!

But I’ll let you off this once Mark!”

There Once Was a Lady of Settle

There once was a lady of Settle

Who went and stood on a nettle.

She said such bad words

That it frightened the birds,

And shocked the good people of Settle!

A Ghoul in the School Swimming Pool

There once was a ghastly ghoul

Who haunted a school swimming pool.

When the headmistress Jane

Gave him the cane

He yelled and left that pool!

They Say there’s a Wicked Old Rake

They say there’s a wicked old rake

Who goes by the name of Lake.

But he’s also known as Kevin

And he’ll never get to heaven –

I think there must be some mistake!

Naughty Miss Harris

When I went with that naughty Miss Harris

For a dirty weekend to that beautiful Paris,

Her and Miss Honey

Stole all my money.

Dear reader, please send some money to Paris!