When my dear old aunt named Kate
Died and left me her whole estate,
I received a broken pencil
And a very empty till,
And an IOU from my aunt Kate!
When my dear old aunt named Kate
Died and left me her whole estate,
I received a broken pencil
And a very empty till,
And an IOU from my aunt Kate!
When a haughty young lady named Kath
Demanded that I run her a bath,
And I said, “do it yourself!”
She said, “but I’m an elf!”. ,
I said, “go magic your own bath!”
When I saw Eliot doing a handstand
I asked him to explain the Wasteland.
He said, “my poem is complex
And many people it has vexed!”.
I said, “yes! That I can understand!”
There once was a poet named Ron
Who said, “poetry is for everyone!”,
But when he wrote on a bus
The driver created such a fuss!
As he didn’t like poetry or Ron!
When a young lady known as Rusty
Said, “you Sir are old and crusty!”.
I said to her, “Miss,
Some girls bring great bliss.
But you Miss are so very rusty!”
When a foolish young man known as Mark
Went for a walk in a haunted park,
A kindly old ghoul
Said, “you’re a fool!
But I’ll let you off this once Mark!”
There once was a lady of Settle
Who went and stood on a nettle.
She said such bad words
That it frightened the birds,
And shocked the good people of Settle!
There once was a ghastly ghoul
Who haunted a school swimming pool.
When the headmistress Jane
Gave him the cane
He yelled and left that pool!
They say there’s a wicked old rake
Who goes by the name of Lake.
But he’s also known as Kevin
And he’ll never get to heaven –
I think there must be some mistake!
When I went with that naughty Miss Harris
For a dirty weekend to that beautiful Paris,
Her and Miss Honey
Stole all my money.
Dear reader, please send some money to Paris!