I know a young lady named Maude
Who makes love on an ironing board.
A man called Bret
Runs my local laundrette,
And he’s banned me and Miss Maude …!
I Know a Young Lady Named Maude
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
When a Brave Young Lady Named Beth
When a brave young lady named Beth
Came face to face with grim Death,
She said, “you will find
That the devil lurks behind!”,
But Death he was completely stone deaf!
I Know a Young Lady from France
I know a young lady from France
Who is an expert in erotic dance.
My friend Lin
Condemns her sin,
And Lin’s husband he works in France …!
Dawn and the Vicarage Lawn
There was a young lady named Dawn
Who made love on the vicarage lawn.
A passing parishioner
Applied lawn conditioner,
Which disconcerted the good vicar and Dawn!
I Met a Young Lady Named Patricia
I met a young lady named Patricia
Who said she works as a stripper.
I went to her shop
Where I found Miss Hopp,
Who assists Patricia as a wallpaper stripper …!
Ria Who Spent Her Days Drinking Beer
There was a young lady named Ria
Who spent all her days drinking beer.
While drunk on wine
Her friend Miss Divine
Drowned in a barrel of Ria’s beer!
A Young Man Driving a Large Hearse
A young man driving a large hearse
Said, “this verse is unfinished and terse”. …
When a Pushy Young Man Named Ivor
When a pushy young man named Ivor
Demanded that I lend him a fiver,
And his friend Gwen
Said, “make it ten!”,
I lent that young man Ivor neither!
There Once Was a Very Small Mouse
There once was a very small mouse
Who drank in a large public house.
The pub’s cat Matt
Lived in a hat
Which he shared with that small mouse!
Miss Mabel and the Table
When I met an adventurous young lady named Mabel
Who said, “do you want me on this table?”,
I said, “I’ve met many young women
Who spend all their lives in sinning,
And, my dear Mabel, that table is very unstable!”
K Morris - Poet 