There once was a most poetical old squire
Who composed a poem to his housemaid Moriah.
As she knelt on the floor
She said, “do give me more!”.
So he did, which delighted his housemaid Moriah!
I know a young lady named Lou
Who spanks paying gentlemen with a shoe.
When she spanked Mr Moore
In a large department store,
They made Lou pay for that shoe!
There once was a foolish old libertarian
Who was imprisoned in a large aquarium.
When he said, “I am free
To swim in this great sea!”,
The fish laughed in that large aquarium!
There was a young lady named Nell
Who met the devil whilst visiting hell.
When the devil proposed
She said, “I suppose
That hell will suit Nell quite well!”.
There was a young lady named Peach
Who gave many a very fine speech.
Her great verbal power
Impressed the ivory tower,
But the public she just couldn’t reach!
When a naughty young lady hiding in rushes
Said, “sir, please join me in these bushes”.
I said, “Miss Coral,
I hate to quarrel,
But you are hiding in rushes not bushes!”
Whilst walking passed a newly dug grave
I met an old ghoul named Dave,
Who said, “are you afeared
Of my big bushy beard?”.
I said, “Dave, you really should shave!”.
When a young lady named Lake
Leapt out of my birthday cake,
I said, “you are witty
And more than just pretty,
And you have ruined my cake!”
I know a young barmaid named Lou
Who pours beer through her favourite shoe.
I have a fetish
For Flair’s wet lettuce,
But the vicar he loves Lou’s shoe!
A young lady whose name is Claire
Is keen on a girl called Flair.
But Flair burns for Sue
Who (strictly between us 2),
Has always had a thing for Claire!
K Morris - Poet 