Tag Archives: nonsense verse

My Reputation

When a young lady of this great nation

Said, “sir, you have a terrible reputation!”.

I said, “come see my etching.

You will find it most fetching!”,

Which confirmed to that young lady my reputation …!”.

My Dirty Weekend

When a close friend of my girlfriend

Invited us to spend a dirty weekend,

We entered the deep wood

And fell in the mud!

But lets return to our dirty weekend …!

 

My Friend Miss Khan

I know a young lady named Khan

Who invites me into her old barn.

In the new stable

Miss Mabel is able,

While Khan works hard in that barn.

A Clown’s Sad Demise

When a clown whose name was Moat

Sang as he sank in a boat,

His friend Guy

Began to cry,

At the loss of his new boat …

The Dissolute Young Man and His Lute

There once was a man most dissolute

Who liked to play on his lute.

When the young women came round

You would hear a sweet sound

As he skillfully played on his lute!

Leigh Who Has Composed a Poem All About Me

A young lady whose name is Leigh

Has composed a poem all about me.

Her verse is so bad

That its driven critics mad,

And now they are all blaming me …!

Lou Who Wore 1 Sock and 1 Shoe

There was a young lady named Lou

Who wore 1 sock and one shoe.

On the other foot

She carefully put

A clock which matched with Lou’s shoe!

There Once Was a Police Constable Named Rose

There once was a police constable named Rose

Who was well known for wearing plain clothes.

A man called Matt

Wore only his hat,

And got arrested by Rose in plain clothes …!

Wet Through

When a young lady named Lou

Said, “we are all wet through!”,

Lou and Miss Rose

Took off their clothes,

Then the vicar he married those two!

Being Known

As I strolled through the great Crystal Palace

I met with a young lady named Alice.

When she gave me a wink

And said, “me and Miss Spink?”,

I said, “I’m known here in Crystal Palace …!.