Tag Archives: nonsense verse

No Soul

There once was a young man named Mole

Who said, “I believe you have no soul!”

An old person called Neville

Said “I’m not the devil!”

And his eyes they blazed like hot coal …!

 

Cerebral

A young lady who is really most cerebral

Said, “your poetry it is so very terrible!”

I said to her, Jane,

You have a great brain,

But your manners they are really most terrible!”

A Young Lady’s Sock

A young lady drunk on Hock

Walked around wearing only 1 sock.

When they said, “you’re nude!,

Which is so very rude!”

She said, “I’m wearing a sock!”

Celebrity

A celebrity who appears on my TV

Is looking for a date with me.

Her name is Miss Spink

And I’ve seen her wink,

And I know that winks for me!

A Young Lady’s Hat

When a young lady wearing only a hat

Went and invited me back to her flat,

And I said, “Rose!

Where are your clothes!”,

She said, “You’re silly! They’re at my flat!”

 

My Literary Estate

I am marrying a young lady named Kate

Who will inherit all of my literary estate.

She says, “writers have money”,

Which I find really funny –

As she’ll inherit all of my literary estate …

If there is No Heaven or Hell

If there is no heaven or hell

Then one may as well

Give in to sin.

 

 

But they say Hell’s fire is hot

So perhaps better not

Play with pretty Miss Moriah.

 

 

Though I have heard the atheists tell

There is no hell.

So I’m going to heaven

With Moriah at 7 …

The Man Who Liked to Eat Chalk

A man who liked to eat chalk

Said that it helped him to talk.

One day, feeling bored,

He swallowed a blackboard.

Which worked very well with that chalk!

 

Reading in Bed

When I met a young lady in red

Who said, “do you read when in bed?”,

I said, “dear Miss Ling

Do you fancy a fling?”,

She said, “I only read in my bed!”

Assaulted by a Tree!

In the churchyard, something fell from a tree

And nearly hit me

There is a time for composing fine rhyme

About graveyards and mortality.

And the occasional limerick can be great fun.

But trees assaulting me!

That makes me run!