Tag Archives: nonsense verse

See-Through

I met a young lady of Munich

Who said, “do you like my see-through tunic?”.

I said to her, “Rose!

You are wearing no clothes!”.

She said, “we dress like that in Munich!”.

In the Depths of the Churchyard Dark

In the depths of the churchyard dark

I met with a vampire named Mark.

When he went for my blood

With my great stake of wood

I ended that vampire in the dark!

When a Young Lady Said, with a Curse

When a young lady said, with a curse,

Do stop including me in your risqué  verse!”.

I said to her, “dear Lou,

Stop spanking me with your shoe!”,

Which caused that girl to curse even worse!

Lout

When a young man eating a sprout

Went and called me an uncouth lout,

I said to Lou,

“Pass me that shoe!

I’ll give that young man a clout!”

 

Flow

I know a young lady named Flow.

Her husband he left some time ago.

We laugh and drink

And sometimes I think,

On that strange lump in Flow’s patio …

There Once Was a Young Person of Woking

There once was a young person of Woking

Who had a very bad habit of poking,

Until they poked an old man

Who said, “I’ve got a plan,

To kick you around the town of Woking!”.

 

 

Lyme Who Taught His Dog How to Rhyme

There once was a poet named Lyme

Who taught his dog how to rhyme.

In the depths  of dark

He would howl and bark

And his dog would recite a rhyme.

Seals and High-Heels

A young lady who wore only high-heels

Had a fondness for swimming with seals.

An old vicar called Glass

Said, “we are but grass.

But I’m fond of seals and high-heels!”

There Once Was a Bishop Known as Ted

There once was a bishop known as Ted

Who, being found with his mistress in bed

Said, “if I had time

I would most certainly resign!

But its so very comfortable in this bed!”

Gwen Who Works in a Dodgy Gambling Den

I know a young lady named Gwen

Who works in a dodgy gambling den.

When she spins the wheel

All the money she steals,

So she’s loaded is my girlfriend Gwen …!

So I’m dating that young lady Gwen!