Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Seals and High-Heels

A young lady who wore only high-heels

Had a fondness for swimming with seals.

An old vicar called Glass

Said, “we are but grass.

But I’m fond of seals and high-heels!”

There Once Was a Bishop Known as Ted

There once was a bishop known as Ted

Who, being found with his mistress in bed

Said, “if I had time

I would most certainly resign!

But its so very comfortable in this bed!”

Gwen Who Works in a Dodgy Gambling Den

I know a young lady named Gwen

Who works in a dodgy gambling den.

When she spins the wheel

All the money she steals,

So she’s loaded is my girlfriend Gwen …!

So I’m dating that young lady Gwen!

The Beauty of Dawn

There was a young lady named Dawn

Who danced nude on the vicarage lawn.

The vicar’s wife Hocking

Found it most shocking

And the vicar he studied Dawn’s form.

Gale and the Whale

There once was a girl named Gale

Who got swallowed by a large whale.

But her heels being sharp

He said, “for my part,

I wish I had swallowed a snail!”

The Latest Fashion

Awaking after a night of passion

With a young lady of fashion,

I said to her, “Lou!

We’ve been sleeping in glue!”

She said, “it’s the latest fashion!”

I Once Met Cupid with his Bow

I once met Cupid with his Bow

And said, “there’s this gorgeous girl I know.

Her name is Miss Lee.

Please make her love me!”.

So he shot Miss Lee in her toe!

Shocking!

I once met a young man named Peter

Who liked to play with his electric meter.

The behaviour of Hocking

Is really quite shocking!

But Hocking is not as shocking as Peter!

Bianca

There was a young lady named Bianca

Who said all people should thank her.

But her conversation was boring

And had them all snoring,

So nobody heard that young lady Bianca!

The Artistic Young Blonde

I know a very artistic young blonde

Of whom I am extremely fond.

She poses in the nude

Which some think real rude,

But she’s artistic, pretty and blonde!