Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Lost Bras

I know a young lady named Marr

Who is always losing her bra.

She is known to be sporty

And I’ve heard that she’s naughty

And the vicar he’s wearing a bra …!

 

 

On Being Stung by a Large Bumblebee

On being stung by a large Bumblebee

On a part you will never see!

I jumped in the water

With the vicar’s pretty daughter,

Who was nude as nude can be!

What a Caper!

When a young lady named Jane

Finished making love on a train,

An old man dropped his paper

And said, “Jane! What a caper!

Please can I see that again!”

See-Through

I met a young lady of Munich

Who said, “do you like my see-through tunic?”.

I said to her, “Rose!

You are wearing no clothes!”.

She said, “we dress like that in Munich!”.

In the Depths of the Churchyard Dark

In the depths of the churchyard dark

I met with a vampire named Mark.

When he went for my blood

With my great stake of wood

I ended that vampire in the dark!

When a Young Lady Said, with a Curse

When a young lady said, with a curse,

Do stop including me in your risqué  verse!”.

I said to her, “dear Lou,

Stop spanking me with your shoe!”,

Which caused that girl to curse even worse!

Lout

When a young man eating a sprout

Went and called me an uncouth lout,

I said to Lou,

“Pass me that shoe!

I’ll give that young man a clout!”

 

Flow

I know a young lady named Flow.

Her husband he left some time ago.

We laugh and drink

And sometimes I think,

On that strange lump in Flow’s patio …

There Once Was a Young Person of Woking

There once was a young person of Woking

Who had a very bad habit of poking,

Until they poked an old man

Who said, “I’ve got a plan,

To kick you around the town of Woking!”.

 

 

Lyme Who Taught His Dog How to Rhyme

There once was a poet named Lyme

Who taught his dog how to rhyme.

In the depths  of dark

He would howl and bark

And his dog would recite a rhyme.