Tag Archives: nonsense verse

The Fun of being an Undertaker

There once was a man named Laker

Who got a job as an undertaker.

When a ghoul appeared

He said, “that’s weird!

Its such fun working as an undertaker!”

All the Bongs

There once was a man named Wong

Who spent all his days going bong!

An old Grandfather clock

Begged him to stop

As he did those bongs all wrong!

The Bed Tester

I met a young lady of Chester

Who is known as a bed tester.

When I found her in mine

It was after much wine

Singing songs with a jester from Manchester!

Jealousy Among the Vegetables

There once was a Gladioli called Gladdis

Who fell in love with a radish.

But a jealous old cabbage

Turned really quite savage,

As he loved that Gladioli named Gladdis!

 

 

 

 

There Once Was a Poet Named Hind

There once was a poet named Hind

Who said, “the best is all behind!

My once great verse

It grows steadily worse!

And the critics all kick my behind!”.

Youthful Passion

Their youthful passion unlocks.

She loses shoes and frock.

Then the vicar knocks …!

Miss Ice

A young lady known as Miss Ice

Has a reputation for not being nice.

Her real name is Coral

And she’s so very immoral!

But to me she’s always been nice …!

Shy Guy

I met a group of young women

Who spoke of the joys of sinning.

But I, being shy

Hid in a pie

With the beautiful and talented Miss Winning!

A Young Lady of Kampala

When I met a young lady of Kampala

Who said, “I worked in a massage parlour”.

And I said, “but Coral!

You are so very moral!”.

She said, “they sacked me from that parlour …!”

Bad Poetry

When a rude and unfeeling young lad

Said, “your poems are so very bad!”.

I wept full sore

And said, “tell me more!”,

As I soundly thrashed that lad!