There was a young lady called Meg
Who laid a very large egg.
When the journalists came round
They found nothing profound
As Meg was pulling their leg …!
Tag Archives: newauthoronline
Hooks
He in his naughty
Forties,
She eighteen or so.
The lamps burn low
As they hang their coats on a hook
And sit down to dine.
The waitress pours wine
Into their glasses
And looks
At hooks
That gleam in the lamp’s low light.
There will be no need for passes
Tonight.
Friday Humour
There was a young man of Doncaster
Who decided his wall to plaster.
He drank lots of beer
Which made him feel queer
And led to a plaster disaster!
—
When a naughty young lady called Bess
Stole a little black dress
A store detective named Guy
Said, with a sigh
“You’ll look great in that little black dress …!”.
—
A pretty young lady called Nell
Rang upon my bell.
I was elsewhere at the time
Composing an intricate rhyme
As I did her large boyfriend tell …
Prelude
Tis easy to forget
Regret
In a girl’s bright eyes.
For betwixt her life-giving thighs
Man for a moment dies
In love or lust.
‘Tis a prelude
Ere he does conclude
Where dust
Does replace
The girl’s pretty face
And man is bust.
There Was A Young Lady Called Hocking
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who’s morals were truly shocking.
When she dated a man named Ed
And my brother called Fred,
Their wives they came aknocking!
My review of the Amazon Echo (Second Generation)
This review is of the Amazon Echo (Second Generation), which retails in the UK for £89.99 (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Amazon-Echo-2nd-Generation-Heather-Grey-Fabric/dp/B0749YXKYZ).
I first used the Echo in late September while visiting family in Liverpool. I was so impressed with the technology that on my return to London I purchased my own Echo.
As a registered blind person I was drawn to the Echo as one can control the device by voice. I have, thus far had the Echo read titles from my Kindle library, search for (and play) samples from audible.co.uk, find and play music and carry out searches in response to questions posed by me.
In order to gain access to the widest range of music, I signed up for Amazon Music at a cost of £3.99 a month (the first 30 days being free with the ability to cancel, without charge within that time-frame). I’ve found the selection of music extremely varied and the fact that one can simply say “play “No Angel” by Dido) and the Echo does so is wonderful.
The sound quality in terms of music, Kindle and audio books is good, however for those who wish to further enhance their experience there is (I understand) a means of attaching an additional speaker.
The Echo’s ability to respond to questions is reasonable but, on balance I think that this is one of its weaker points. For example (as someone who is interested in politics) I asked it “what was the British Union of Fascists?” and Alexa read out a relevant snipet from the web. However on asking “what is the Socialist Worker’s Party?” Alexa provided information on the US-based far-left party (with no mention of the UK-based organisation). So anyone wishing to find out about the (UK-based) SWP would be better served by trusting to Google or another search engine.
Notwithstanding the above, asking questions such as “what is the weather in central London” will render an accurate result, as will questions such as “what is the capital of Germany?”
The Echo can control smart devices. However I have no such devices in my home, therefore I was unable to put the device through it’s paces here.
When purchasing an Echo, the user should be aware that all information is being sent through to Amazon’s servers. I looked back at my interactions with Alexa on the Amazon site and saw a record of all the questions I had posed to the device (although not the answers provided). One can delete this record. However there is a risk (as with any web based activity) of one’s interactions being intercepted (although this is no greater than the danger of one’s computer being hacked when using Google or another search engine).
I was able to sign up to Amazon Music by voice (without the need to enter my Amazon password as the device is already logged into my account). On the one hand this is extremely convenient as there is no need to log on to one’s computer etc. However anyone with children should, in my view seriously consider disabling this feature (there are many stories in the media of teenagers running up bills on smart devices due to their parents not having disabled or password protected the ability to make purchases without first having to enter security credentials).
All in all I highly recommend the Echo.
Kevin
“I don’t repeat gossip … so listen carefully”
“I don’t repeat gossip … so listen carefully”.
Yesterday (Sunday 23 September), I ran into an acquaintance in a local pub, and he invited me to join him at his table. I accepted gladly and enjoyed catching up as we haden’t come across one another for a while.
During the course of our chat, my acquaintance came out with the above quotation, which greatly amused me and I fell to pondering on its origin.
The quote can be found on metal plaques and mugs, but one of the few places where it’s origins are discussed is here, https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=733071. However this post gives no conclusive evidence as to the quotations origin. If any of my readers know where the above eminates from, I would be very interested to hear from you.
Kevin
I Know A Young Lady Called May
I know a young lady called May
Who told me a limerick risqué.
I experienced delight
Throughout the night
But she won’t repeat it today
Free Verse: The Poetry Book Fair (Sunday 23 September 2018)
On Sunday 23 September, the Poetry Book Fair takes place in London.
Publishers of free verse will be present as will the Poetry Society.
For details please visit, http://www.poetrybookfair.com/
Hocking
A young lady by the name of Hocking
Was always my poetry mocking.
When she passed away
I’m sorry to say
That her end was truly shocking …
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who lost a fine silk stocking.
A vicar named Hogg
Owned a large black dog
Which ate that fine silk stocking …
