On the train yesterday I overheard the following conversation between a little girl and her mum.
Little girl, “Can I have a cat for Christmas?”
Mum, “No, you can have turkey like everyone else!”
(Many of the jokes contained in christmas crackers are fairly dire. However a few, such as the above are rather good. This is one which fell out of a Christmas cracker during my work’s Christmas dinner yesterday).
Tomorrow is my office’s Christmas dinner which is taking place in central London. So if you turn on your televisions and see a man sitting astride the Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square, while tourists take pictures assuming that it is all part of some ancient English custom, it will be me having imbibed to much orange juice or whatever one drinks at Christmas parties. On second thoughts I may confine my antics to dancing on the restaurant table with my guide dog Trigger! Seriously after all that celebrating I will not be posting tomorrow! Kevin
I do like a nice cup of coffee with milk and if I’m feeling a little naughty in goes a tea spoon of sugar. A few minutes ago I stood in my kitchen spooning coffee into a mug. I added a drop of milk and poured boiling water onto the coffee. The delicious aroma of coffee asailed my nostrils. Soon I would be able to relax with a steaming hot cup of coffee. I stirred the coffee and felt something move in the mug. It was soggy and, obviously wet … I had added a tea bag to the concoction without the fact having registered. I wonder whether I can market coffee with a hint of P G Tips or should that be tea with a delicious flavouring of coffee!
I am pleased to report that I am now enjoying a mug of (just) coffee as I write this!
Now that would avoid arguments about who should do the housework, or any other kind of disagreement (although conversation might be somewhat limited …)! http://en.rocketnews24.com/2013/11/29/girl-builds-herself-a-boyfriend-out-of-soap-bubbles/
I am a fan of David Jason in his role as Delboy in the ITV sitcom Only Fools and Horses. I was therefore amused to learn that 40 pages of his autobiography have been accidentally printed in Helen Fielding’s new Bridget Jones book, Mad About The Boy. I must confess to never having read The Diary Of Bridget Jones but this story made me chuckle, http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/10/bridget-jones-printing-error-david-jason_n_4077784.html
I’m so nice and modest to, you’d like me, I’d like you to. I’m lacking in vice, so incredibly nice, my modesty shines through!
One of my regrets is my inability to speak any language other than my native tongue, English. I don’t know why I should have a mental block so far as learning languages is concerned. I received good marks in both English language and literature a-levels and went on to read history and politics at university which entailed having a good grasp of English. Despite my ability to make foreigners roll about holding their sides with laughter when attempting to converse with them in their native tongue I was pleased to see that my collection of short stories, “Sting In The Tail And Other Stories” is available in German, French and a number of languages which I am unable to speak! Thank goodness for Amazon’s translators whether human or software based! To learn more about Sting In The Tail please visit http://www.amazon.co.uk/Sting-tail-other-stories-ebook/dp/B00DFK6R54
Several days ago I answered the phone to a lady calling on behalf of the Royal National Institute of the Blind (RNIB). She was conducting a survey and as I am myself blind and I was, at that juncture at a loose end I agreed to answer a few simple questions. At the end of the survey the lady asked my age and on me confirming that I am in my 40’s she announced that
“I’ve been doing all the men in London in their 40’s today and I’m very tired”. Now what can one say to that …
A recording of me reading my limerick, ‘Claire’.
Beth by Kevin Morris.
K Morris - Poet 