Tag Archives: laughter

In Harness

As a guide dog owner, I have encountered some rather odd comments and questions. Take, for example, the gentleman who asked me whether my guide dog could read the numbers of buses!

 

However, the incident yesterday evening surely takes the dog biscuit. On my way home, after having enjoyed drinks with friends, a lady at a bus stop said, “I like your dog’s harness”.

 

I am known for my sense of humour which does, on occasions verge on the risqué. However, I bit my tongue, smiled and continued on my way home.

 

On telling a friend about the incident subsequently, he commented that the lady is probably spending her weekend on Google looking for harnesses. Obviously I have no idea what he means …

My Dear Friend the Beautiful Miss Lee

My dear friend the beautiful Miss Lee

Has won prizes for her erotic poetry.

She came round last night

With a girl called white

And we played at cards till 3.

Lou Who Was Known for Wearing 1 Shoe

There was a young lady named Lou

Who was known for wearing 1 shoe.

When they asked her why

She’d point to the sky,

And say, “there flies my other shoe!”.

A State of Grace

A young lady whose name is Lorna

Has a job in a sordid sauna.

When I walk passed that place

With that sweet girl Miss Grace,

I remember we met in that sauna …

My AI Girlfriend

I have just purchased an AI girlfriend

Who is driving me round the bend.

She calls me her honey

And spends all my money,,

Which is just like my real girlfriend!

Lou and Her Movie

When a naughty young lady Known as Lou

Decided to star in a movie most blue,

Me and Fred

Painted her red.

As for Lou, she painted us 2 blue!

Lou Who Dressed in 1 Shoe

There was a young lady named Lou

Who walked around dressed in 1 shoe.

When a girl called Rose

Said, “put on some clothes!”,

Lou said, “I’m dressed in this shoe!”.

 

Sex Kitten

A young lady who comes from Britain

Is known as a great sex kitten.

My dear old dog

Is known as Hogg,

And my kitten she comes from Britain …!

Ron the Poet

When a poet whose name was Ron

Said “my poetry will surely live on”.

An old man called Brian

Warned him of a lion,

Which devoured all his poetry and Ron.

Dangerous Neil

When a dangerous young man named Neil

Said, “you’re going to feel cold steel!”,

A brave girl called Jagger

Grabbed hold of that dagger,

And I composed a poem about Neil …!