There once was a bull from Hull
Who said, “I am feeling quite dull.
I’ll go with Miss Hop
To that new China shop.
The one that’s just opened in Hull!”.
A Bull in a China Shop
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Tag Archives: laughter
Lou’s Aesthetic
When a poet known as Miss Lou
Walked around town wearing only 1 shoe,
They said, “your verse is pathetic!
But we do like your aesthetic,
As you look great wearing 1 shoe!”.
A Young Lady Named Amanda
I know a young lady named Amanda
Who says that I don’t understand her.
She is slim and petite
And lives on my street
And I’ve seen her walking her panda!
A Young Lady of Uganda
I met a young lady named Amanda
Who comes from a place called Uganda.
She called me sweet honey
And spent all my money,
Then escaped whilst dressed as a panda!
Threatened with Chains
When a young lady brandishing whips and chains
Said, “do you like a girl with brains?”,
I said, “dear Lou,
I most certainly do!
But please can you stop brandishing those chains!”
Hatch Who Was Fond of a Scratch
There once was a writer named Hatch
Who was fond of having a scratch.
He liked to write
With his dog White
Whose fleas would cause Hatch to scratch!
Matt’s Cat
When an elderly gentleman named Matt
Said, “have you seen my cat?”,
A man called Hogg
Spoke of his dog,
And me? I ate my hat!
Time for Bed
When a young lady dressed in red
Pulled me into a very large bed
I said to her, “Hop!
You and I should stop!
As the customers have turned bright red!”.
Miss Follett and Alice
As I strolled through London’s Crystal Palace
I met a young lady named Alice.
She and Miss Follett
Have borrowed my wallet.
Has anyone seen that Follett or Alice?
In Harness
As a guide dog owner, I have encountered some rather odd comments and questions. Take, for example, the gentleman who asked me whether my guide dog could read the numbers of buses!
However, the incident yesterday evening surely takes the dog biscuit. On my way home, after having enjoyed drinks with friends, a lady at a bus stop said, “I like your dog’s harness”.
I am known for my sense of humour which does, on occasions verge on the risqué. However, I bit my tongue, smiled and continued on my way home.
On telling a friend about the incident subsequently, he commented that the lady is probably spending her weekend on Google looking for harnesses. Obviously I have no idea what he means …
K Morris - Poet 