As we drove fast round a very tight bend
A young lady said, “lets pretend I’m your girlfriend!”.
I said, “in this sports car
You and I will go far!”,
She said, “remember that this is only pretend!”
A man in a boat on a moat
Went and wrote a poem on his goat.
But the poem was not profound
And the poet he sadly drowned
And the police they are questioning the goat!
Whilst attending my old boarding school
I knew a most ghastly ghoul.
As the clock struck midnight
He’d play with the light,
Which was strictly against the rule!
There once was an old squire named Ray
Who liked to go shooting all day.
His handsome butler called Morgan
Was good on the organ,
And the squire’s wife she loved to play!
I know a young lady named Marr
Who is always losing her bra.
She is known to be sporty
And I’ve heard that she’s naughty
And the vicar he’s wearing a bra …!
On being stung by a large Bumblebee
On a part you will never see!
I jumped in the water
With the vicar’s pretty daughter,
Who was nude as nude can be!
When a young lady said, with a curse,
Do stop including me in your risqué verse!”.
I said to her, “dear Lou,
Stop spanking me with your shoe!”,
Which caused that girl to curse even worse!
There was a young lady named Dawn
Who danced nude on the vicarage lawn.
The vicar’s wife Hocking
Found it most shocking
And the vicar he studied Dawn’s form.
Awaking after a night of passion
With a young lady of fashion,
I said to her, “Lou!
We’ve been sleeping in glue!”
She said, “it’s the latest fashion!”
When a wicked old rake known as Toft
Said, “your skin looks so pretty and soft!”,
A young lady named Harden
Said, “I beg your pardon,
Was that you or the devil who coughed!”.
K Morris - Poet 