A young lady whose conduct was truly licentious
Said, “my friends they all think me pretentious!
I have sheets of pure satin
And my cries are in latin.
And my lovers they all find me licentious!”.
When a man by the name of Paul
Said, “I have seen many an empire fall.
And I have a burning desire
For that inocent young lady Moriah”.
I said, “Moriah, she fell long ago Paul!”.
Last night I dreamed a strange dream
About strawberries and lashings of fresh cream.
All the young women
Said no to sinning.
But gave in to strawberries and cream.
—
Last night I dreamed a strange dream
About strawberries and lashings of fresh cream.
All the young women
Said no to sinning.
And the vicar fell into the cream!
A young lady whose name is Pat
Sent me a message using her WhatsApp.
She called me “sweet honey”,
And asked me for money.
And I’ve never seen a photograph like that!
If girls could read the mind
Of the average guy, I
Think you would find
Many a poor guy
With a black eye!
I asked the devil, “wherein lies sin?”.
She answered me, “sir, sin, ’tis within
Both thee and me.
Now, my dear boy
Don’t be so coy.
And just tell me,
What would you like me to be!”.
When a young lady riding a horse
Said, “you and I must quickly divorce!”.
I said, “my dear Yvette
We have only just met.
And I’m here to shoe this horse!”.
When a young man along with his spouse
Said, “I’ve come to shoot all your grouse,
In this fine old dining room ,
By the light of the moon.
I kicked them both out of my house!
When a young lady sitting on a cushion
Said, “we need to have a serious discussion”.
I said, “that’s fine.
Have some more wine.
And I will join you on your cushion!”.
A young lady of some considerable discretion
Works in the most ancient of profession.
Just the other evening,
The vicar was leaving.
But no, I must show more discretion!
K Morris - Poet 