When a beautiful but dissolute young lady named Ria
Came round to mine and drank lots of beer,
A kindly old monk
Said, “you are drunk.
Let me help you to bed, young Miss Ria”.
When a young lady dressed in clear plastic
Said, “my morals they are really very elastic”.
I said, “its true
That mine stretch too.
And you are hot in that clear plastic!”.
When a young man on a bar stool
Said, “you are a stupid old fool!”.
I said, “my good sir
You should take great care,
Lest you fall off that bar stool!”.
When a daring young lady named Ria
Decided to swing from my old chandelier,
The good Bishop Paul
Feared she would fall.
But she fell long ago, did Ria.
A young man driving a hearse
Said, “my verse is very terse”.
There was a young lady named Yvette
Who caused many rich gentlemen to forget
Their duty and sense,
Which led to expense.
And a contented and very wealthy Yvette.
When a young man whose name is Jerry
Said, “let us eat, drink and be merry”.
And I said, “for tomorrow we die”,
He said, “sir, “that is a lie!”.
As tomorrow I am getting married to Sherry!”.
My friend whose name is Lou
Is a Tory through and through.
Being a young lady bold
She swims in water cold,
Which makes Lou turn bright blue!
When a young lady named Miss Wearing
Said, “your behaviour is so very uncaring!”.
I put on my hat
And said, “what of that?”,
I find your behaviour so very wearing!”.
When a young lady full of strong booze
Said, “have any of you seen my shoes?”.
And she danced on the table
They said, “my dear Miss Mabel,
“Are those your shoes, floating in our booze!.
K Morris - Poet 