There once was a man most dissolute
Who liked to play on his lute.
When the young women came round
You would hear a sweet sound
As he skillfully played on his lute!
There once was a man most dissolute
Who liked to play on his lute.
When the young women came round
You would hear a sweet sound
As he skillfully played on his lute!
A young lady whose name is Leigh
Has composed a poem all about me.
Her verse is so bad
That its driven critics mad,
And now they are all blaming me …!
There was a young lady named Lou
Who wore 1 sock and one shoe.
On the other foot
She carefully put
A clock which matched with Lou’s shoe!
There once was a police constable named Rose
Who was well known for wearing plain clothes.
A man called Matt
Wore only his hat,
And got arrested by Rose in plain clothes …!
When middle-aged men
(Their minds on sinning),
Flirt with young women,
Some humour them.
While others embrace
The grace
And charms
Of wealthy arms …
When a young lady named Lou
Said, “we are all wet through!”,
Lou and Miss Rose
Took off their clothes,
Then the vicar he married those two!
As I strolled through the great Crystal Palace
I met with a young lady named Alice.
When she gave me a wink
And said, “me and Miss Spink?”,
I said, “I’m known here in Crystal Palace …!.
There was a young man named Keith
Who was known as a prodigious thief,
Until Miss Rose and Miss Hocking
Tied him up with their stockings,
Which delighted that young man named Keith!
—
There was a young man named Keith
Who was known as a prodigious thief,
Until Miss Rose and Miss Hocking
Tied him up with their stockings,
Which caused that thief Keith to cease!
There is deep mud
In the park again.
As I wade through flood
I sigh
And cudgel my poor brain
To explain
Why we poets romanticise
This thing called rain!
When a naughty young lady named Kate
Said, “I’ll have you on a plate!”,
I said to Mabel,
“Quick! Clear the table!
Or Kate she’ll break my best plate!”.