Tag Archives: humour

What Is That Sound Which So Thrills The Ear?

Several days ago I was browsing Youtube on my iPad when I came across the following squeaky toy sound effect, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U86c2Zf5og. My guide dog, Trigger is a lover of squeaky toys and has often driven me half mad running up and down my flat excitedly squeaking one of his toys, his tail wagging furiously. Given Trigger’s love of things which go squeak in the night I was interested to see how he would react to the Youtube clip.

On clicking on Youtube, Trigger jumped out of his bed and looked around a puzzled expression (well as puzzled as any canine can look) on his face. He then proceeded to investigate my iPad with his nose but, eventually retired in disgust to his bed wondering why whatever was making that squeaking sound refused to be played with! Trigger is now wise to what is happening and hardly dains to lift his head when that new elusive squeaky toy starts it’s squeaking.

Intruders

Despite the security at my place of work intruders have been detected. Unauthorised visitors have been found wandering the coridors without the requisite credentials on previous occasions. Action has been taken, the authorities called in and the unwelcome guests sent packing. However try as the powers that be might, intruders keep breaking through our security barriers.

Things have gone missing from the filing cabinets and drawers. The unwelcome guests are circumspect being rarely seen. They generally operate in darkness when all good people and true are safely tucked up in their beds. However, on occasions colleagues have caught a glimse of the intruders, a mere flash of movement but none the less a sighting which is logged with the authorities. I think that the time has come to call in the services of that most stern of enforcers, Mr C, for with his powerful spring, sharp teeth and claws he will, surely rid the building of these pesky mice!

Thank You Dear Spammer

On visiting my Dashboard I was intrigued to observe that there are 4,106 comments in my spam queue. Does this mean that I have arrived as a blogger? I mean surely one could argue that the more spam one receives the greater the interest your blog is attracting. Then again perhaps not! To all those lovely spammers a big thank you for choosing my blog. My heart fills with joy whenever I see advertisements, in my spam folder for fake branded products. I no longer need to visit Marks and Spencers or any other store as, with one click of a mouse I am able to access a plethora of dodgy products which would make Delboy from Only Fools and Horses green with envy. Thank you dear spammers, it is good to know that instead of earning an honest living you choose rather to enliven my dull world with all those items I never knew I needed. Thank you!

Why I Write – Guest Post On Cupitonians

Many thanks to A (http://cupitonians.wordpress.com/) for inviting me to post on her excellent blog. You can find my post below

http://cupitonians.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/guest-blog-why-i-write/

 

The Return

I have just returned from spending Christmas on my country estate in Oxfordshire. It was wonderful to see the old place with it’s rolling acres and a tear ran down my cheek as the faithful old butler Soames struggled, bent double under the weight of my luggage but that is, after all what servants are for …

In point of fact I spent a pleasant week with my mum and her partner in the city of my birth, Liverpool. There are, alas no rolling acres, just a small back garden in which my guide dog, Trigger soon made himself at home. On Christmas day we all, as is customary exchanged gifts. Even Trigger and my mum’s black Labrador, Lilley received presents. Not content with his own gift Trigger took it upon himself to eat a box of chocolates which had been left under the Christmas tree as a present for my mum. Not satisfied with the chocolates he enjoyed a tasty desert of … scented candle! Fortunately Trigger suffered no ill effects and he is, as I write sleeping at my feet.

Well I am now back in London and my mum’s dog, Lilley can breathe a sigh of relief as there is no hungry monster lurking in the shadows waiting to deprive her of her dinner!