Two photographs of my guide dog, Trigger, working hard in the office!
Cute photos of dog
5 Replies
Tag Archives: humour
Thank You Dear Spammer
On visiting my Dashboard I was intrigued to observe that there are 4,106 comments in my spam queue. Does this mean that I have arrived as a blogger? I mean surely one could argue that the more spam one receives the greater the interest your blog is attracting. Then again perhaps not! To all those lovely spammers a big thank you for choosing my blog. My heart fills with joy whenever I see advertisements, in my spam folder for fake branded products. I no longer need to visit Marks and Spencers or any other store as, with one click of a mouse I am able to access a plethora of dodgy products which would make Delboy from Only Fools and Horses green with envy. Thank you dear spammers, it is good to know that instead of earning an honest living you choose rather to enliven my dull world with all those items I never knew I needed. Thank you!
Why I Write – Guest Post On Cupitonians
Many thanks to A (http://cupitonians.wordpress.com/) for inviting me to post on her excellent blog. You can find my post below
http://cupitonians.wordpress.com/2014/01/07/guest-blog-why-i-write/
The Return
I have just returned from spending Christmas on my country estate in Oxfordshire. It was wonderful to see the old place with it’s rolling acres and a tear ran down my cheek as the faithful old butler Soames struggled, bent double under the weight of my luggage but that is, after all what servants are for …
In point of fact I spent a pleasant week with my mum and her partner in the city of my birth, Liverpool. There are, alas no rolling acres, just a small back garden in which my guide dog, Trigger soon made himself at home. On Christmas day we all, as is customary exchanged gifts. Even Trigger and my mum’s black Labrador, Lilley received presents. Not content with his own gift Trigger took it upon himself to eat a box of chocolates which had been left under the Christmas tree as a present for my mum. Not satisfied with the chocolates he enjoyed a tasty desert of … scented candle! Fortunately Trigger suffered no ill effects and he is, as I write sleeping at my feet.
Well I am now back in London and my mum’s dog, Lilley can breathe a sigh of relief as there is no hungry monster lurking in the shadows waiting to deprive her of her dinner!
Anyone For A Hair Cut?
On popping into the hairdressers this morning (I like to get my hair cut at least once a year whether it needs it or not), I learned that the leader of the Labour Party, Ed Miliband, had visited the Upper Norwood and Crystal Palace area in which I live, http://www.croydonguardian.co.uk/archive/2013/12/09/10864355.Labour_leader_Ed_Miliband_visits_small_businesses_in_Upper_Norwood_and_Crystal_Palace/. Apparently he popped into the shop but, I understand that he did not enjoy the attentions of the excellent hairdressers who, periodically have the dubious pleasure of cutting my own unruly mop! He did, however pop into the BookSeller Crow, a shop which I visit from time to time. The visit was aimed at promoting local small businesses of which BookSeller Crow is one such.
The above news pales into insignificance compared to the exploits of my guide dog, Trigger who decided, while I was having my hair cut, to present a towel to a gentleman who was also having his hair cut. It is the retriever in him which causes him to pick up all kinds of objects, my guide dog that is, not the customer.
Christmas Presents
On the train yesterday I overheard the following conversation between a little girl and her mum.
Little girl, “Can I have a cat for Christmas?”
Mum, “No, you can have turkey like everyone else!”
(Many of the jokes contained in christmas crackers are fairly dire. However a few, such as the above are rather good. This is one which fell out of a Christmas cracker during my work’s Christmas dinner yesterday).
High Up In The Trees
Tomorrow is my office’s Christmas dinner which is taking place in central London. So if you turn on your televisions and see a man sitting astride the Christmas tree in Trafalgar Square, while tourists take pictures assuming that it is all part of some ancient English custom, it will be me having imbibed to much orange juice or whatever one drinks at Christmas parties. On second thoughts I may confine my antics to dancing on the restaurant table with my guide dog Trigger! Seriously after all that celebrating I will not be posting tomorrow! Kevin
Anyone Fancy A Cup Of …
I do like a nice cup of coffee with milk and if I’m feeling a little naughty in goes a tea spoon of sugar. A few minutes ago I stood in my kitchen spooning coffee into a mug. I added a drop of milk and poured boiling water onto the coffee. The delicious aroma of coffee asailed my nostrils. Soon I would be able to relax with a steaming hot cup of coffee. I stirred the coffee and felt something move in the mug. It was soggy and, obviously wet … I had added a tea bag to the concoction without the fact having registered. I wonder whether I can market coffee with a hint of P G Tips or should that be tea with a delicious flavouring of coffee!
I am pleased to report that I am now enjoying a mug of (just) coffee as I write this!
Girl Builds Herself Boyfriend Out Of Soap Bubbles
Now that would avoid arguments about who should do the housework, or any other kind of disagreement (although conversation might be somewhat limited …)! http://en.rocketnews24.com/2013/11/29/girl-builds-herself-a-boyfriend-out-of-soap-bubbles/
Shop Girl
Shop girl setting my heart awhirl. Does she like me? Does she not? I only came in here to shop! Regular visits, shop assistant divine, what can I do to make you mine? Is she interested? Is she not? Sir you only came here to shop!
K Morris - Poet 