I met a young lady named Mandy
Who was drunk on fine old brandy.
When she said, “I like Ealing,
And this evening I am feeling …”.
I said, Mandy! Stop drinking that brandy!
Mandy and Her Brandy
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Tag Archives: humour
I Know A Girl Called Miss Shakespeare
I know a girl called Miss Shakespeare
Who has pulled me many a beer.
The old barman, named Macbeth,
Bores us all to death.
And King Duncan is off his beer.
Whilst Visiting the Great Count Dracula
Whilst visiting the great Count Dracula
I said, “your view is truly spectacular.
But your breath is quite foul,
And those wolves they do howl!
I regret I must leave Castle Dracula!”.
When My Friend Whose Name is Katie
When my friend whose name is Katie
Said, “I want to discuss something weighty”.
I said, “you’re not fat”,
And she really liked that.
But I felt bad lying to Katie!
There Once Was A Poet From Gwent
There once was a poet from Gwent
Who, having all his meagre earnings spent
In his local sauna,
On pretty Miss Lorna.
Composed a poem about paying the rent!
The Fryer’s Hair Dryer
When I met an extremely wizened old fryer
Drying my wet lawn with his hair dryer,
And I said, “why dry this grass?”.
He said, “sir, all things must pass”.
And I wept over that fryer’s hair dryer!
Sally
I know a young lady named Sally
With whom I’m more than just pally.
She often visits my house,
But not with her spouse.
As with him I’m not that pally!
My Birthday
When a silver-haired poet known as Kevin
Said, “I grow ever nearer to sweet heaven
As I turned 52 today”,
A young lady named Fay
Said, “you’re drunk and its not yet 7!”.
Wicked Miss Lou
When a wicked young lady named Lou
Tied me up to poor Miss Sue,
I said to Pearl,
“You’re a good girl”.
But that girl she joined in too!
Loose Morals
When a young lady riding a goose
Said, “my morals are so incredibly loose”,
The men gave a great roar.
But the goose said, “no more!
Young lady, your morals are too loose!”.
K Morris - Poet 