There once was a police constable named Rose
Who was well known for wearing plain clothes.
A man called Matt
Wore only his hat,
And got arrested by Rose in plain clothes …!
There Once Was a Police Constable Named Rose
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
Middle-aged Men
When middle-aged men
(Their minds on sinning),
Flirt with young women,
Some humour them.
While others embrace
The grace
And charms
Of wealthy arms …
Wet Through
When a young lady named Lou
Said, “we are all wet through!”,
Lou and Miss Rose
Took off their clothes,
Then the vicar he married those two!
Being Known
As I strolled through the great Crystal Palace
I met with a young lady named Alice.
When she gave me a wink
And said, “me and Miss Spink?”,
I said, “I’m known here in Crystal Palace …!.
Keith the Thief
There was a young man named Keith
Who was known as a prodigious thief,
Until Miss Rose and Miss Hocking
Tied him up with their stockings,
Which delighted that young man named Keith!
—
There was a young man named Keith
Who was known as a prodigious thief,
Until Miss Rose and Miss Hocking
Tied him up with their stockings,
Which caused that thief Keith to cease!
There is Deep Mud
There is deep mud
In the park again.
As I wade through flood
I sigh
And cudgel my poor brain
To explain
Why we poets romanticise
This thing called rain!
When a Naughty Young Lady Named Kate
When a naughty young lady named Kate
Said, “I’ll have you on a plate!”,
I said to Mabel,
“Quick! Clear the table!
Or Kate she’ll break my best plate!”.
When a Wicked Young Lady Named Moriah
When a wicked young lady named Moriah
Threatened to set my beard on fire,
The good barber Dave
Suggested a good shave.
Then he shaved both me and Moriah!
As I Walked Home One Dark Halloween
As I walked home one dark Halloween
I heard a most ear piercing scream.
I said to Miss Black
“We must not look back!”.
But she’d vanished with a piercing scream!
My Famous Old School
I once attended a famous old school
Which was haunted by a wicked ghoul.
When the headmaster did shout,
“You! ghoul! Please get out!”,
He called him a blithering old fool!
K Morris - Poet 