When a Socialist named Grub
Walked into a Conservative club,
And they asked, “why are you here?”,
He said, “I’ve heard about the beer.
I believe that its very good!”.
When A Socialist Named Grub
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
When A Literary Critic Named Lee
When a literary critic named Lee
Came round to mine for tea,
I offered him some cake,
Which he failed to take,
And then he criticised my tea!
Blind Publican
Last night, I had a dream in which I had agreed to work in my local pub. Being blind, this would, no doubt have been a very interesting experience for me and the customers of that esteemed establishment.
My peculiar dream led to the composition of the below rhyme.
—
When a blind man whose name is Grub
Got a job in his local pub,
Those wanting brandy
Got lemonade shandy,
But the grub, it was really quite good!
Samantha
There was a young lady named Samantha
Who bought a baby pet panther.
The creature was cute
And played the flute,
And Samantha, she was a dancer.
—
There was a young lady named Samantha
Who purchased a baby pet panther.
The creature played on the flute,,
But I never reached the root,
Of what happened to that Samantha . . .
—
A young lady whose name is Samantha
Works as an erotic dancer.
When the men bother her
She gives them a glare,
So I keep well away from Samantha!
When A Young Man Named More
When a young man named More
Said, with a most terrible roar,
“Down with the aristocracy,
And down with thee!”,
I answered him with a snore.
—
When a young man named More
Said, with a most terrible roar,
“Down with the aristocracy,
And down with thee!”,
I said, “close the study door”.
A Young Man Whose Name Is Gus
A young man whose name is Gus
Went out with a succubus.
He says she was pretty
And came from his city,
But the rest he refuses to discuss.
My Aristocratic Friend, Who Likes To Doodle
My aristocratic friend, who likes to doodle
Maintains ideas that are almost feudal,
And lives on a great estate
With my young mistress called Kate,
And an anarchistic, fat old poodle!
When A Young Lady Named White
When a young lady named White
Developed a ladder in her tight,
At just gone 10
A window cleaner called Ken,
Borrowed that ladder in her tight!
—
When a young lady whose name is White
Developed a ladder in her tight,
A window cleaner called Ken
Swapped her a pen,
In exchange for that ladder in her tight.
Rose
When a young lady whose name is Rose
Said, “your views I shall oppose!”,
And I replied, “but you don’t know my view!”,
She said, “that’s perfectly true,
But I really don’t like your clothes!”.
—
When a young lady whose name is Rose
Jumped up and down on my toes,
And I said, “that really does hurt!”,
She tore off my shirt.
As to why? only Rose knows.
—
There was a young lady named Rose
Who composed a poem all about toes.
When they said, “its incomplete
As there aren’t any feet”,
She hit them right on the nose!
On Going To Bed Last Night
On going to bed last night
I met a young lady named White.
I admired her see through nightdress,
But she asked me to stress
That nothing happened last night . . .
K Morris - Poet 