Tag Archives: funny poetry

The Price

When I met a young lady named Grice
Who spoke of the great price of vice,
And her friend Miss Spink
Gave me a knowing wink,
I said, “what is the price of spice?”

As I Boarded a First Class Carriage

As I boarded a first class carriage
I met a young lady from Harwich.
When she suggested an affair,
I said to her, Claire!
Not here! in this first class carriage!”

A Young Man Wearing Only One Sock

A young man wearing only one sock
Spent all his days saying “tick tock”.
When they said to him, “Hocking,
Have you lost a stocking?”,
He said, “no, I’ve lost a clock!”

You Should Always Write What you Know

I met a young lady named Flow
Who said, “always write what you know”.
So I wrote something rude
And more than just crude,
And got sued by wicked Miss Flow

As I Boarded the 7 pm Train

As I boarded the 7 pm train
I met a young lady named Elane.
We went real fast
Then, at long last
The driver began to drive that train …!

When I Decided to Make a Full Confession

When I decided to make a full confession
Concerning a young lady of a certain profession,
Her lawyer Lou
Threatened to sue,
So I decided to show much more discretion …!

I Know a Young Lady Named Coral

I know a young lady named Coral
Who is stern and ever so moral.
The good vicar Spink
Gave me a wink.
I think he knows more about Coral …

I Once Met a Very Eminent Professor

I once met a very eminent professor
Who lived in a large Welsh dresser.
When I asked him why
He heaved a great sigh,
And said, “you’re not my Father Confessor!”

The Arty Swingers Party

When I went to a swingers party
With my friend who is very arty,
Pretty Miss Ling
Painted a swing,
And my friend she painted that party!

Kate’s Improper Date

There was a young lady named Kate
Who went on a most improper date.
The vicar was there
With his mistress Claire,
And a waitress who just couldn’t wait …!