There once was a rake named Mars
Who lit his cigars with silk bras.
A girl called Coral
Said, “you are immoral!”,
So he bought her brand new bras!
There Once was a Rake Named Mars
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
Sky Who Married an Old Billionaire
When a young lady known as Sky
Went and married an old billionaire guy
And he died on the stair,
I just happened to be there,
And to marry that young billionaire Sky …
Sister White
I know a young nun named Sister White
Who takes me to her convent at midnight.
The Mother Superior
Calls me inferior
But I think she quite likes Sister White.
There Once was a Detective Named Paul
There once was a detective named Paul
Who invited us all to a ball.
A girl called Sky
Gave me an alibi,
And of course I denied it all!
Stand and Deliver!
As I walked down a dark street
I met a thief with big feet.
When he said, “stand and deliver!”,
I distracted him with hot liver,
And then I stamped on his feet!
Miss Follett and Alice
As I strolled through London’s Crystal Palace
I met a young lady named Alice.
She and Miss Follett
Have borrowed my wallet.
Has anyone seen that Follett or Alice?
When a Morbid Young Man Named White
When a morbid young man named White
Said, “I may die this very night!”.
I said, “I’ll have your lover
The beautiful and talented Miss Glover”
White said, “yes, that is perfectly alright!”
Mole Who was Fond of Eating Coal
There once was a man named Mole
Who had a liking for eating coal.
A jolly old squire
Lit a great fire
Which quickly burned Mole and his coal!
Wicked Miss Follett
A wicked young lady known as Follett
Has relieved many men of their wallet.
But me, being pure
I am perfectly sure
That my wallet is safe from Follett …!
—
A wicked young lady known as Follett
Has relieved many men of their wallet.
I hide mine behind the curtain
With a girl called Miss Person,
Where its perfectly safe from Miss Follett …!
A Gossipy Young Lady Known as Nell
A gossipy young lady known as Nell
Likes to claim she knows me well.
I remember Miss Jane
With her mean cane,
But I really don’t remember that Nell!
K Morris - Poet 