When I met the infamous Professor Moriarty
Who said, “come along to my party!”
The great Homes was there
With a big dancing bear.
And Watson danced nude at that party!
When I Met the Infamous Professor Moriarty
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
An Elderly Writer Known as Ted\
There once was an elderly writer known as Ted
Who said, “burn all my works when I’m dead!”
His young lover Divine
Said, “they’re all online!
With the picture of the vicar in our bed …!”
You Won’t Get to Heaven
When a moral old lady named Nevin
Said, “Kevin, you won’t get to heaven!”
A gorgeous young sinner called Bell
Said, “Its more fun in hell.
And Kevin, I’ll take you to heaven …!”
A Fine Chest
When a young lady wearing a vest
Said, “do you like my chest?”
I said, “its so good to touch.
Do tell me, are you Dutch?”
And I stroked that fine wooden chest!
Vicar Large and the Barge
When I saw the good vicar Large
Making love to young women on a barge,
I just couldn’t stop grinning
And spoke of his sinning!
He said, “you’re paid to steer this barge!”
When I Met the Devil in a Pub
When I met the devil in a pub
I said, “have you come in for grub?”
He said, “the barmaid is pretty
And you sir are most witty!
But alas! This pub it has no grub!
My Sugar Date with Kate
I once went on a sugar date
With a young lady named Miss Kate.
When it came to paying time
I recited a very fine rhyme
Which delighted the old waiter and Kate!
No Soul
There once was a young man named Mole
Who said, “I believe you have no soul!”
An old person called Neville
Said “I’m not the devil!”
And his eyes they blazed like hot coal …!
Red
When a young lady in red
Invited me to come to bed
I said, “dear Miss Moore!
This is a furniture store!
And the manager has turned red!”
Cerebral
A young lady who is really most cerebral
Said, “your poetry it is so very terrible!”
I said to her, Jane,
You have a great brain,
But your manners they are really most terrible!”
K Morris - Poet 