When a young lady of Battersea
Invited me for cakes and tea.
It was so very delicious
But, her boyfriend turning vicious.
Now I’m hiding up this tree!
Cakes and Tea in Battersea
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I met a young lady named Jane
Who went like a very fast train.
Whilst back at my flat
I took off my hat.
And she went, like a fast train!
Jane’s Cane
A young lady named Miss Jane
Is possessed of a mean cane.
Her friend Lou
Wields a shoe.
And me, I’m sweet on Jane!
I Once Met a High Court Judge
I once met a High Court judge
Who said, with a wink and nudge,
“I believe you know Claire?”.
I said, “take care sir,
Lest I sue you for slander, judge!”.
The Dangers of Sin
When a gorgeous young lady named Lin
Warned me of the dangers of sin,
Priggish Miss Coral
Called me immoral.
And then I went home with Lin …
As I Lay in Bed Last Night
As I lay in bed last night
I heard the heels of Miss White.
I said, “Come in”.
And my wife Lin,
Threw me out last night with White!
There Once Was a Girl Who Wore Shoes
There once was a girl who wore shoes
Who was far too fond of strong booze.
They would say to her, “Rose,
The winter wind it coldly blows.
Perhaps you should wear more than just shoes!”.
Claire and Miss Hocking
An attractive young lady named Claire
Is enjoying a most sordid affair.
Whilst naughty Miss Hocking
Has mislaid a stocking …
And I am busy with Claire.
Young Women and Fine Wine
A young lady drinking my fine wine
Said, “your company is far from divine!
But, give me more
And, I feel sure,
That fine wine will make you divine …!”
A Most Beautiful Young Lady Named Leigh
A most beautiful young lady named Leigh
Has composed an erotic poem about me.
Her verse is real great
And I just can’t wait,
As she’s invited me round for tea …
K Morris - Poet 