I met a young lady named Malorie
Whose paintings hang in my local gallery.
Whilst admiring her nude
She called me rude,
So I returned to my local gallery …
My Local Gallery
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Tag Archives: funny poems
The Bachelor
If 2 depart
In skirts and heels
At break of day
What will the neighbours say
Of the bachelor man,
And Claire and Miss Anne …?
Mayfair
A beautiful young lady from London’s Mayfair
Has indulged in many a steamy affair.
Priggish Miss Coral
Calls her immoral,
Which is strange as she’s called Claire!
—
A beautiful young lady of London’s Mayfair
Is known by the name of Flair.
Priggish Miss Coral
Calls her immoral.
And I like to visit London’s Mayfair …
Dalliance By Moonlight
As the moon shone bright last night
I spied 2 young women by moonlight.
I said, “this here bed
Has seen many a head.
But this rope is a little tight …”.
Parks and Karl Marx
There was a young man named Parks
Who quoted the works of Karl Marx
To pretty young women,
Who thought of sinning,
Whilst Parks he thought of Karl Marx!
Ghoul
On my way home late last night
I met a young lady in white.
She gave me a wave
And returned to her grave.
And the theatre was crowded last night!
The Perfumer
I met a beautiful young perfumer
Who had no sense of humour.
They say I spent
My money on scent.
But that’s just a wicked rumour!
Miss Wood and the Mud
When a careless young lady named Wood
Got her stilettos stuck in deep mud
And I said, “get them off”.
She replied, with a shocked cough,
“Not here! In this nasty deep mud!”
Lou’s Footwear
When a young lady named Miss Lou
Threatened to spank me with her shoe
I said, “I really don’t care
What you do with your footwear,
But you’re exciting the old vicar Lou!”
The Vicious Old Goat
I met a vicious looking old goat
Who was dressed in a frock coat.
He said, “I will be level.
I am the wicked old devil!”.
So I skinned and ate that goat!
K Morris - Poet 