There was an elderly gentleman named Dan
Who hatched a devious and cunning plan
Involving lots of sinning
With beautiful young women.
And his wife she brained that Dan!
Devious Dan and His Cunning Plan
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Tag Archives: funny poems
I Met a Young Lady in Heels
I met a young lady in heels
Who said, “old Father Time he steals
The rose away
Nothing may stay.
Which is why I wear only heels!”.
Filthy Miss Pearl
I know a young lady named Pearl
Who is a wicked and filthy girl!
When she enters my study
Her feet are so muddy
That I berate that filthy Miss Pearl!
Philosophical Gwen
When a philosophical young lady named Gwen
Climbed to the top of Big Ben,
And a policeman called Lyme
Said, “tell me the time”.
“Time has no real existence”, said Gwen!
Miss Leigh’s Celibacy
A young lady whose name is Leigh
Has grown so tired of her celibacy
That she attends vicar’s parties
Whilst dressed as pink smarties,
Where she enjoys lots of hot tea!
Miss Hocking’s Stocking
A young lady whose name is Hocking
Is known for wearing only 1 stocking.
Her friend bishop Ron
Wears the other one,
As he’s very broad minded like Hocking!
Gwen Who Likes S and M
I know a young lady named Gwen
Who is fond of S and M.
We met at a dinner party
With the great and the literati,
Who all deny knowing me and Gwen!
My Ruined New Bed
When a young man whose name was Ted
Lay bleeding to death on my new bed
And he said, with a sigh,
I know that I shall die”.
I said, “Ted! Your ruining my new bed!”
My Posh Girlfriend
My girlfriend who is so very posh
Is fond of saying golly! and gosh!
When she’s in the mood
She turns wicked and lewd,
And you wouldn’t believe that she’s posh!
Heather Who Was Light as a Feather
There was a young lady named Heather
Who said, “I’m light as a feather”.
Her rude mate Miss Kate
Said, “you carry great weight!”.
And then she ran hell for leather!
K Morris - Poet 