Tag Archives: funny poem

There is Deep Mud

There is deep mud

In the park again.

As I wade through flood

I sigh

And cudgel my poor brain

To explain

Why we poets romanticise

This thing called rain!

 

When a Wicked Young Lady Named Moriah

When a wicked young lady named Moriah

Threatened to set my beard on fire,

The good barber Dave

Suggested a good shave.

Then he shaved both me and Moriah!

As I Walked Home One Dark Halloween

As I walked home one dark Halloween

I heard a most ear piercing scream.

I said to Miss Black

“We must not look back!”.

But she’d vanished with a piercing scream!

My Famous Old School

I once attended a famous old school

Which was haunted by a wicked ghoul.

When the headmaster did shout,

“You! ghoul! Please get out!”,

He called him a blithering old fool!

Whilst Attending a Famous Old Boarding School

Whilst attending a famous old boarding school

I met with a complaining young ghoul.

He said, “its too warm

In this stuffy old dorm!”.

So I chucked him in the pool!

 

There Once Was a Terrible Old Lecher

There once was a terrible old lecher

Who went by the name of Fletcher.

A girl called Kate

Used a heavy plate,

Which ended that old lecher named Fletcher!

Mark Who is Extremely Fond of the Park

I know a young man named Mark

Who is extremely fond of the park,

Where Claire and Miss Rose

Remove all of their clothes.

Or so I am told by Mark …!

A Gorgeous Young Lady Known as Katie

A gorgeous young lady known as Katie

Has a reputation for being real matey

With well heeled gentlemen,

(Well, so says Ken).

And Ken’s wallet is really quite weighty …!

Miss Bland Who Was Fond of the One Night Stand

There once was a young lady named Bland

Who was fond of the one night stand.

With a man called White

She stood there all night,

Watching the great tide sweep over the sand …!

 

 

When I Found Pretty Miss Lin

When I found pretty  miss Lin

Lurking in my brand new bin,

I did shout,

“You! Get out!”,

But Lin she dragged me in …!