A celebrity who appears on my TV
Is looking for a date with me.
Her name is Miss Spink
And I’ve seen her wink,
And I know that winks for me!
Celebrity
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Tag Archives: funny poem
Jacinta’s Splinter
When a young lady named Jacinta
Went and trod on a splinter,
She hopped all around
And said something profound.
And then she cursed that splinter!
If there is No Heaven or Hell
If there is no heaven or hell
Then one may as well
Give in to sin.
But they say Hell’s fire is hot
So perhaps better not
Play with pretty Miss Moriah.
Though I have heard the atheists tell
There is no hell.
So I’m going to heaven
With Moriah at 7 …
The Man Who Liked to Eat Chalk
A man who liked to eat chalk
Said that it helped him to talk.
One day, feeling bored,
He swallowed a blackboard.
Which worked very well with that chalk!
Reading in Bed
When I met a young lady in red
Who said, “do you read when in bed?”,
I said, “dear Miss Ling
Do you fancy a fling?”,
She said, “I only read in my bed!”
Careless Miss White
A careless young lady named Miss White
Often falls in the street at night.
A kindly vicar called Paul
Said, “many young women fall”,
As he picked her up last night …!
The Dangers of Blackmail
When a young man named Lee
Went and tried to blackmail me,
I gave a big smile
And said, “meet Mr crocodile!”
Which ended that blackmail and Lee …!
Assaulted by a Tree!
In the churchyard, something fell from a tree
And nearly hit me
There is a time for composing fine rhyme
About graveyards and mortality.
And the occasional limerick can be great fun.
But trees assaulting me!
That makes me run!
Paul Who Jumped from a Very High Wall
There was a young man named Paul
Who jumped off a very high wall.
He aimed for custard
But landed in mustard!
Which was far too hot for Paul!
Being Discrete
I met a young lady of a certain profession
Who said, “sir, do please show some discretion!”,
Her name is Miss Bess
And here is her address –
But no! I think I should show more discretion!
K Morris - Poet 